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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26573773">Secrets and Protecting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterKC/pseuds/WriterKC'>WriterKC</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Protectiveness, Season 1, Secrets, stalked, uncovering a dark past</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:15:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>42,550</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26573773</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterKC/pseuds/WriterKC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Olivia thought it was over, she was finally happy, safe even. She had the job she wanted, a loving and devoted partner, and had somewhat mended her relationship with her mother. But a seemingly ordinary SVU case brings her past back to haunt her. Based off the episode of 'In The Heat of The Night' that Mariska guest starred in 1988. Season 1 EO</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Olivia Benson/Elliot Stabler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I watched an episode of a show called "In The Heat of The Night" that Mariska guest starred in about 10 years before she was on SVU andddd this idea was born! I am not exactly sure where it is going yet but figured I'd start it and see. El and Kathy are divorced so EO is together, of course...would I write them any other way? :) This is set during the episode Stalked, Season 1, episode 8. Olivia thought it was over, she was finally happy, safe even. She had the job she wanted, a loving and devoted partner, and had somewhat mended her relationship with her mother. But a seemingly ordinary SVU case brings her past back to haunt her.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'll drive you home."</p><p>"El, you don't have to we're both exhausted, I told you I could take a cab you have the twins this weekend and-"</p><p>"While this creep's after you? There's no way I'm leaving you here alone."</p><p>"Elliot...it's a fancy restaurant. I'm a cop. Even if White was after me which we don't know for sure he's not gonna look for me here."</p><p>"He might if he's tracking your credit cards or-" She rolls her eyes at his expression.</p><p>"Can you stop being overprotective for 2 seconds?"</p><p>"You know I can't" He smirks and she sighs.</p><p>"El I'll be fine. I can take care of myself. I could probably even kick your ass if I wanted to."</p><p>"I don't doubt that Liv. But I hate even the thought of you being in danger. You know me, I'm not leaving till I know for myself that you're safe." She does know him, in fact, his protectiveness and unshakeable loyalty were 2 reasons she had fallen in love with him. No other man she had been with had been even close to that. No one had looked out for her and cared for her the way he did, and if she was honest with herself...his warm, familiar car sounded a lot better than some stinky cab.</p><p>"Ok. You can drive me home on one condition."</p><p>"Anything."</p><p>"You take the weekend off and spend it with the twins. I know how much you miss them and you've spent this whole week worrying about me when-"</p><p>"We were working."</p><p>"Yeah but you've been working overtime babe. I know you're worried and I want this guy to fry as much as you do but you deserve time for yourself too. You're gonna make yourself sick."</p><p>"But what if-"</p><p>"I'll be fine baby. I promise." He swallows hard and sighs but the worry doesn't erase from his face and she massages his shoulders for a moment, noting how tense his muscles are, her heart warming slightly because as much as she wants to roll her eyes at how overprotective he is, she knows it's because he loves her. At times he doesn't even have to say the words, she can just look at him and she knows. She wraps her arms around him from behind and kisses his cheek before resting her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you." He relaxes slightly, but she knows that there's a part of him that is still on edge and if she's honest with herself, she is too.</p><p>He turns around and pulls her into his arms, cocooning her from the world. He kisses her head gently, swaying them side to side as if dancing to the cool evening wind. "And I love you-"</p><p>He's cut off when they both become soaked by a downpour they weren't even expecting, and she laughs when he all but carries her to the car.</p><p>X</p><p>The ride to her apartment is a comfortable silence. After managing to convince him to drive her to her place and not his despite his pleas she was becoming worried herself. But she wouldn't admit it. 1. Because she couldn't let White win, and 2. Because she didn't want to put any more stress on Elliot. Her stubborn and hotheaded, but protective and loving partner looked like he had aged about 5 years since the previous morning when she had received the flowers and a note that said "No Hard Feelings."</p><p>"I'll walk you in."</p><p>"I'm too tired tonight El." She smirked, trying to lighten the mood, he smiled slightly but it didn't reach his eyes.</p><p>"Not that. I just want to make sure you're safe."</p><p>"This again?"</p><p>"You know you're not getting rid of me."</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"Fine. But please blink your lights when you get inside."</p><p>"You're just gonna sit here all night until I do aren't you you stubborn son of a bitch." He chuckled and this time his smile was sincere.</p><p>"Yes, I am."</p><p>"Elliot this is exactly what White wants, I can't let him win."</p><p>"This isn't about winning, it's about me making sure the woman who means the world to me is safe. Please put my mind at ease, please." The expression on his face almost makes her cry. She had no idea what she did to deserve this man. Given her past and a previous relationship she had that had gone so badly, someone like Elliot seemed like the last person who would want to be in her life. But he had made her feel loved and wanted like she had never felt before.</p><p>"I'll blink my lights."</p><p>"Thank you." He kisses her sweetly. "I love you, Olivia. You'll never know how much."</p><p>"I think I have a pretty good idea." She returns the kiss, deepening it slightly before pulling back and grabbing her purse. "I love you too Stabler." He kisses her hand as she gets out of the car and she squeezes his before letting go. He rolls down the window.</p><p>"Liv!"</p><p>"What?" She yells back, slightly annoyed but joking at the same time.</p><p>"Call me if you need something."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>"I don't care if it's a nightmare at 3 am or your fridge is making weird sounds or your coffee maker doesn't work or what. Call me." She laughs at his rambling.</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees her blink her lights and waits a bit before reluctantly driving home. Praying to whoever would listen that leaving her alone wasn't a mistake.</p><p>If he had seen the two men in the strange van across the street. If he knew the horror he would learn in just a few hours...He would have run after her and carried her to his apartment no matter how much she protested. If he knew what would happen tomorrow, he would never have taken her out to dinner, they would've stayed at the precinct and he would have watched over her in the cribs as she slept.</p><p>If he had known what would happen tommorrow...he would have gotten her out of New York altogether.</p><p>Because Elliot Stabler would do anything to keep Olivia Benson safe and to prevent his worst nightmare from coming true.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Close Calls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Thinking of rating this story M, for now, it's a high T. I do want to mention a possible trigger warning as this story deals with abuse. Proceed with caution</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own SVU or In The Heat Of The Night.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elliot was overreacting.</p><p>That's what she told herself in order to keep from thinking about the chill that went down her spine when she got the flowers and the note. Not because she was scared of Richard White, but because it reminded her of a part of her past that not even her partner knew about. He couldn't know because he would never think of her or look at her the same again. She wasn't proud of the person she used to be, and she didn't want to think about it for another second.</p><p>She was sure it was nothing. Elliot was always overprotective. It was a blessing and a curse at the same time. No one was more stubborn and could frustrate her as much as he could, but he also loved more fiercely than anyone she had ever known. They were so connected it was like they were one soul. So, she figured, the uneasy feeling she had felt was his worry being transferred to her. That was all. Richard White was just another perp who would try and fail to get away with what he had done, She was Detective Olivia Benson of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit, girlfriend and partner of Detective Elliot Stabler. That's the identity she chooses now. The scars of the past don't need to be brought up. Not now, not ever. That version of Olivia is locked up and tossed away somewhere. This is who she is now, and it's all she wants to be. Yeah, she's not getting into that mess now.</p><p>She puts her shoulder-length hair in a clip and decides to soak in her bathtub for awhile and cleanse herself of the dirt of the day's work. She left her cell on the sink as she always did in case the Captain or her partner called about a case. She especially didn't want to miss a call from Elliot during this current case because she knew not hearing from her would send his already on edge mind into more panic. Their relationship was built on trust, and though it was difficult for her at first, the one thing they did trust was each other's faithfulness. They had both agreed as work partners that for the job they had to be honest with each other. The secret she was keeping from him was pretty big, but they always had an idea of where each other was and answered each other's calls. If she wasn't answering him or vise versa that meant something was wrong.</p><p>Her relaxation was interrupted by a loud noise coming from outside the bathroom door. She didn't hear anything for a moment and tried to calm her nerves, deciding to ignore it in case it was just in her head. She closed her eyes and took a breath. It's probably just someone moving furniture or dropping something in a nearby apartment. That conclusion let her relax, until a couple minutes later when she heard what sounded like her door being broken in and footsteps. It could be Elliot. She tried to tell herself. Maybe the Captain called him saying that a threat had been made and they had reason to believe Richard White was going to Olivia's apartment to hurt her and Elliot, her fiercely loyal and protective partner and love of her life rushed over and broke her door down determined to get to her first and save her. It was a perfectly logical theory, but it was crushed as the footsteps got closer and she realized with a spike of fear that the footsteps did not belong to her blue-eyed anchor. As partners, they had gotten so in sync that they knew each other's steps, and those were not his. As a detective, she also knew a couple other things: one was that the footsteps did not belong to the perp who was supposedly stalking her, Richard White. He was short and fat, these footsteps seemed to belong to someone taller, thinner. She thought ironically that it would almost be better if it was him. He would be caught in the act and she could call Elliot and her captain on speed dial. The case would be open and shut. These footsteps though...these footsteps made her skin crawl and her body involuntarily tremble because they reminded her of a past she never thought she'd have to face again. Her pulse was racing and she bit back a scream at the chilling voice.</p><p>"AUDINE! I know you live here swweetheart, you thought you could run didn't you you stupid stupid girl. Well, I found you and you're in tttrouble you got that. You owe me, baby. You weren't s'posed to run, you disobeyed and I gotta punish you now."</p><p>He sounded drunk, that was what she noticed first, his southern drawl was thick and slurred. This can't be happening! I thought he was dead! Dear god, I thought he was dead! He was supposed to be DEAD!</p><p>She could hear him moving around her apartment, the sound of breaking glass, doors being thrown open, plates shattering. She was terrified.</p><p>She wasn't a civilian anymore, she was a cop. If she had been in work mode, she could have easily pulled her gun on him and arrested him and called for backup.</p><p>Now though, she was in a dangerously vulnerable state, right where he wanted her. She was still in the bathtub, under the water paralyzed in fear. Her gun and handcuffs were in the bedroom and going to get them would be too risky. The bathroom was dimly lit with candles that could surely be smelled from outside. All she had was a towel, bathrobe and her cell phone….</p><p>Her cell phone</p><p>CALL ELLIOT! Her mind was screaming at him. CALL HIM NOW! PRESS THE SPEED DIAL BUTTON AND CALL HIM! Sure you've kept this massive secret from him but don't you think he'd prefer that over finding you tortured and dead on your bathroom floor? He loves you and he's all you have right now! CALL. HIM.</p><p>Before she could convince herself otherwise she carefully got out of her tub, still soaking and grabbed her cell. She blew out the group of candles lighting up the bathroom and hid in the closet, hoping maybe the predator lurking in her home would assume she wasn't there and leave. Her hands were shaking and she struggled to grip her phone as she pressed 1 to speed dial her partner, her protector. She turned down the volume so it was quiet, hoping she would be the only one who could hear. The screen lit up and she heard the chilling voice again in the distance.</p><p>"Audiiiiine, come out come out wherever you are." She thought she was going to be sick, the next voice she heard held her a little steadier.</p><p>"Hey, beautiful." Her partner's voice was like a warm blanket in a violent blizzard. Normally she would have smiled at his greeting, he was tough and brooding at work, but had a soft, tender side to him that only she, his kids, and victims got to see. He was so sweet and gentle to her and she loved him for it. She swallowed the sobs of terror that were creeping up her throat and with her voice shaking and barely above a whisper spoke into the phone.</p><p>"El-Elliot...I need you." That was all it took. He knew. Immediately he knew just like she knew he would. Her voice was small and frightened.</p><p>"I'm on my way." Thank god for this man. It wasn't even a minute later she heard his car starting through the phone, but the other voice came back, distracting her from her moment of safety.</p><p>"I have a present for you Audine. Well... there are actually two presents but I'm only leaving one at your apartment, the other one well...you're a detective now so I guess you'll figure it out at work tomorrow. This first one though...I wonder if you remember her? She was fun, I'm almost sad she had to go but...she was too much of a risk." She could hear him chuckle and wanted to vomit. Althea. She'd need to tell Elliot to call CSU, she didn't even want to think about what had been done to her. She was an SVU detective so it wasn't hard to guess. That thought reminded her that Elliot was still on the line, and his past frantic voice returned.</p><p>"Liv! Liv! Can you hear me? Are you still with me?" She realized he had been trying to talk to her and she had been distracted by the monster outside.</p><p>"Yes." She choked out.</p><p>"Baby, can you tell me if you're hurt? Do I need to call a bus?"</p><p>"I n-need you." Those were the only words she could manage to say at that moment.</p><p>"I know sweetheart, I'm coming too but I need to know if you're hurt. I need to know if I need to get you to the hospital.</p><p>"No I'm...I'm not hurt El."</p><p>"Ok, I'm about 10 minutes away Olivia, I'm almost there. I can tell you're really scared right now but I need you to try and tell me what's going on. Are you in danger? Do I need to call the squad? CSU?"</p><p>"Someone's in...my apartment." A door slammed somewhere. "Someone broke in E-el." She didn't have to be with him to know that his stomach just dropped 10 floors.</p><p>"Honey where are you? Are you near your gun?" His worried 'where are you?' was drowned out by the other voice.</p><p>"Ah, Detective Olivia Benson." He was in her bedroom. He had found her badge and her gun. Oh god oh god oh god. She could hear her dresser drawers being opened and shut and "Special Victims Unit? Maybe I should leave you another 'special gift' and remind you of our time together."</p><p>"OLIVIA!" Her partner's voice had gone past terrified by now but she can't respond...he's too close now and might here. "I'm only 3 minutes away sweetie just hang on for me ok. Just hang on." Suddenly worried Elliot's frantic pleas might be heard by the man in the bedroom she hung up the phone and curled up in the corner of the bathroom closet. Praying he would give up and leave and praying that Elliot would be there soon.</p><p>"Mmm we could have some fun in here dontcha think darlin'?" Her muscles hurt from how tense they were and she was sure she pulled a couple.</p><p>The bathroom door opened. He's gonna find me and kill me before Elliot even gets in the door. She could see the lights turn on and bit back a whimper. She could hear him whistling and then he stopped. The tub. I forgot to let the tub drain...he knows I was here….or maybe he'll think I drowned? She was pretty sure her heart stopped beating altogether.</p><p>"You're a tough one to find aren't you Audine? Thought you were a cop. Shouldn't you be arresting me by now?" He laughed. "Still weak! Just like you always were." Another set of footsteps entered the apartment from a distance but she was too scared to process what was happening. The man who had been taunting her raced out of the bathroom and from what she could hear made a quick exit out the window onto the fire escape. The other set of footsteps got louder and she could hear a frantic voice but her mind, delirious with fear didn't allow her to recognize it.</p><p>"OLIVIA! OLIVIA!" He's got help and whoever is helping him knows my real name and is going to kill me. She stood up shakily. She wasn't weak. She wasn't Audine Higgs anymore. She was Olivia Benson, and Olivia Benson didn't go down without a fight. The footsteps raced into the bathroom as she slowly opened the closet, it was dark and all she could see was a figure. She lunged for it. Punching, kicking, clawing, at the presence her mind told her was an assailant. Some part of her mind tried to get her to realize he was talking to her, trying to console her. He tried to wrap her in his arms and get her to calm down. "It's just me baby, it's just me." But the other man had called her 'baby', so in her current state that did nothing to soothe her. She kneed him in the groin and kicked him in the stomach as hard as she could. It was when he fell to the ground and she heard a pain filled groan that she turned on the light and realized her assumption as to the identity of the person was very very wrong.</p><p>"ELLIOT! Oh my god, Elliot!" She sobbed heavily, finally allowing him to hold her. "I'm so sorry I'm so so sorry." She kept saying while he rocked her gently, shushing her, comforting her. Her shaking had slowed, but now her tears were a mix of fear and guilt. He had come to save her and she had attacked him. "I-I should get you some ice." He holds her tighter even though she makes no movement to leave.</p><p>"I'm alright Livia, it doesn't hurt that bad, I'm alright." He moves away from her slightly, intending to wrap her robe around her, knowing she probably feels vulnerable right now but she clings to him.</p><p>"Please don't leave me." His heart breaks.</p><p>"I'm not sweetie, I'm right here. I'm just gonna get your robe for you and get you warmed up ok?" He kisses her lightly on the forehead and she reluctantly lets go of him. He pulls her back into his embrace once she has her robe on, cradling her on his lap, her head buried in the crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry Olivia, I never should have left you alone. I should have protected you, this is all my fault."</p><p>"No, it's not, you didn't know and he didn't...he didn't hurt me." Still uneasy, he breathed a sigh of relief. It had been weighing on his mind, given Richard White's MO and how terrified she sounded over the phone. She shivered, thinking of the voice, and realizing Elliot still didn't know who had been in her apartment. He assumed she was shivering, thinking about what White might have done and held her tighter.</p><p>"I'm not gonna let him touch you. You're safe now. We're gonna get him and nail him for this and I'm gonna protect you. I promise."</p><p>She didn't know how to tell him. It scared her almost as much as what had taken place that night. "I thought he was dead...all those years ago he was supposed to be dead. He was gonna kill me. He almost killed me. He wanted to kill me." It took her a minute to realize she had said that out loud and that Elliot was looking at her with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Suddenly his arms no longer felt safe, his voice no longer soothed her in warmth, and she wanted to run. She wanted to go somewhere far away to avoid this conversation, to avoid her worst nightmare, to avoid reality.</p><p>"Richard White?" He asked, concerned that perhaps she had been injured and needed to get to the hospital. After all, they had only known the perp in their current case for a couple weeks. What did she mean by 'all those years ago'. She realized with terrifying clarity that there was no going back. She had to tell him, and she could only hope he didn't hate her afterward.</p><p>"It wasn't him."</p><p>"Liv do you need-"</p><p>"Richard White wasn't the man in my apartment." His blood ran cold, had she been attacked before and he never knew? She sat up and forced herself to look into his eyes, the blue orbs of calm that had always held her steady.</p><p>"Elliot...there's something I need to tell you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Unraveling Her Secret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Same warning as the last chapter. Some parts may be triggering because of mentions of abuse. Proceed with caution.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own either show because if I did El never would have left.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The woman in his arms was a frightened shell of the partner he knew and loved and it worried him greatly. She was pale and he had a sick feeling about what it was she needed to tell him. All he could do was hold her and reassure her.</p><p>"You can tell me anything Olivia, no matter what it is. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."</p><p>"I don't know if I can."</p><p>"Do you trust me?"</p><p>"Of course I do I just...I hate myself for this El and I'm scared that-"</p><p>His kiss is gentle and reassuring and he deepens it slowly, pouring his love for her into the action and she allows herself to melt into him.</p><p>"Baby look at me." He strokes her cheek with his thumb. "I promise you that there is absolutely nothing you can say or do that will ever make me love you any less." Her sob broke his heart. "I promise you, Livia. I promise you that I love you so much right now and I will still love you when you've told me. I will always love you. I will always hold you when you need me and even when you don't. I will always protect you and be here for you no matter what. Ok?" She buries her head into his chest, thinking that maybe it will be easier to tell him if she doesn't have to look into his eyes.</p><p>"I don't deserve you El."</p><p>"You deserve so much better. But I hope I'm enough." She snuggled into him allowing his warmth and safety to surround her.</p><p>"You're more than enough Stabler. And everything you just said goes for you too. I love you more than I can put into words and I will always be here for you." They sit in silence for a minute, her trying to slow down her breathing. He hears her sniffle and sees new tears forming in her eyes and feels tears in his own. There is nothing more painful than seeing his partner hurting. He kisses her tears and cups her cheek in his hand and she closes her eyes and leans into his touch.</p><p>"Talk to me, sweetheart. Please." His tenderness causes more tears when she thinks of the contrast between him and the last man who called her 'sweetheart'. Elliot Stabler was her rock, and as scared as she was to tell him, he was the only person she never felt weak breaking down in front of. He would always catch her. Always.</p><p>"Can we uh-can we go somewhere? Your apartment? Or the precinct? I don't care I just-" In case he comes back because I don't think I can get through this here. He knows where I live and I'm scared and you make me feel safe so get me out of here. Her heart warms because he can read her like a book.</p><p>"Of course, you want to pack some things and stay the night?" not after that creep was in my bedroom doing god knows what. She shivers.</p><p>"I think I've got some things at your place already actually." She wasn't sure she was ready to go into her bedroom, she just wanted out of there.</p><p>"Ok." They stand up, her still in his arms and he moves to open the door but she stops him.</p><p>"Did you see anybody when you came in? What if he's hiding in here maybe we should-"</p><p>"He's gone honey, I promise. I heard someone running on the fire escape but I didn't look to see who it was because I wanted to find you."</p><p>"But what if he-"</p><p>"No one's going to touch you, Olivia. Not while I'm with you. You want me to look around and check?" While he might be waiting to kill you? Uhhh no, we're partners. We're staying together.</p><p>"No no, you're right. I'm ok I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's alright my love. It's alright." She grips his hand as they walk out and the smell hits them with a force.</p><p>"You got expired milk here or something?" Elliot jokes, trying to lighten the mood but Olivia's blood runs cold. "I left you a present Audine...she was fun, I'm almost sorry she had to go." He turns back to look at her and stops. "You ok Liv?" She swallows the bile rising in her throat.</p><p>"Call CSU."</p><p>X</p><p>She stayed in Elliot's arms as Crime scene techs combed the place she had considered home. It had been trashed. Cabinets open and emptied, broken glass and dishes, furniture turned over, a note on the wall in spray paint that said "You can't hide anymore.", her purse had been turned upside down and her wallet was missing. Her bedroom was a nightmare and Elliot stood in front of her, refusing to let her go in. He told her it was to protect her, that she didn't need the images in her mind. She already knew though because the monster had taunted her and told her what he was doing. All Elliot told her was that her gun, badge, and handcuffs; the items that identified her as a detective, were gone and that a woman's body had been found in her closet.</p><p>Some change had been stolen from her nightstand and what was perhaps most terrifying was an address book that had been stolen...an address book that contained contact information for the people she loved, the people she now considered her family. Her partner, her Captain, the other detectives in the squad, the ADA, and her mother. It also contained the address for the precinct itself.</p><p>He could kill them all and she wouldn't be able to stop him because she'd been stripped of everything that made her a detective, everything that made her Olivia Benson and not Audine Higgs. She had no gun, no handcuffs, no badge, no wallet...he had made her into his property. He owned her and no matter where she went she wasn't safe. He knew where she lived, where she worked, and where the people she was closed to lived and worked.</p><p>So she clung to Elliot, who normally by now she would have said 'I'm fine' too and convinced him to let her go because she was afraid of losing more things than she already had.</p><p>"We have to call Cragen don't we?" He nods grimly.</p><p>"Baby I need to know what's going on. Please this is….I want to protect you and I WILL protect you but if I don't know who I'm looking for if I don't know who I'm protecting you from…Whoever this guy is knows how to get away with this Olivia. He knows how to track you. He knows where I live...I don't know where to take you to keep you, safe honey." He looks distraught and as if he might cry himself. "I'm gonna call Kathy and have her keep the twins this weekend and maybe we can find a hotel or something."</p><p>"El I'm so sorry, I hate that you're involved in this, that you're kids are involved in this." She sobbed.</p><p>"Shhhh it's not your fault, it's not I just...I wanna find this guy before he-" He swallows hard, unable to finish his sentence. "I want to be your safe place, I don't want you to have to hold this in anymore sweetheart. I've never seen you this scared before. It hurts to see you in pain."</p><p>"You should stay somewhere with your kids and protect them I'll-"</p><p>"I'm not leaving you. I told you that." He stated firmly.</p><p>"Elliot I would never forgive myself if something happened to you, to any of you."</p><p>"I would never forgive myself if something happened to you that I could have prevented. Please baby. Please let me in. Please tell me so I can keep all of us safe." God, she felt selfish, the man had been devoted to her since day one. He had loved her, protected her and stood by her side even when she pushed him and now he was in danger, still worried about her and begging her to talk to him. "I know you're scared honey. I'm scared for you but I love you so much. So so much Olivia, and I need you to talk to me now...because we might not have much time to waste."</p><p>"Ok." She takes a deep breath as they sit on the couch. He wraps her in his arms knowing that this will be hard for her and he wants her to feel safe and secure.</p><p>"About 10 years ago I was a sophomore at Sienna college and my mother, well I told you about her showing up drunk to one of my classes one day right?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"I was so humiliated that I dropped that class, it was an intro to Criminal Justice course and I had one of the highest scores in the class. The professor contacted my advisor and she called me down to her office one day. She told me she had heard about that 'incident' and wanted to know if I had ever considered transferring out of state." She was hesitant so he reassured her.</p><p>"That makes sense."</p><p>"I thought that was crazy because there was no way I could afford to move. But my professor, with good intentions, had sent in a recommendation to a police academy in Kentucky and asked if there might be a scholarship. My advisor told me that I had been accepted that day, and I was speechless."</p><p>"Of course you were accepted, you're amazing, partner." He gave her a small smile, trying to soothe her as much as possible.</p><p>"Anyway my mother to my surprise didn't even protest. It was like she wanted me gone. She didn't even tell me bye, just that I'd probably get fat and to try and not get myself killed or trampled by horses. Not people, cause I was too ugly to be given the time of day." She scoffed and Elliot kissed the top of her head gently.</p><p>"She was so wrong baby, you're beautiful."</p><p>"El what I've told you so far isn't even the worst of it."</p><p>"For the first few months, it was great. I finally felt free! I was so fed up with my mother and being associated with her that as soon as I settled in, I went to the courthouse and changed my name."</p><p>"Olivia Benson the rebel, I never thought I'd see the day...and what was your new 'I'm a Kentuckian now and I live among the farm life and sweet tea drinkers' name?" He chuckled and she allowed herself to laugh with him.</p><p>"Audine Higgs." Elliot snickered and she slapped him lightly on the chest. "W-where did you th-think of that?"</p><p>"An obituary in the newspaper." They both laughed at that.</p><p>"So uh, you learn how to make casseroles and stuff?" She was hesitant and her mood was no longer lighthearted.</p><p>"I met a man while I was waitressing at the local diner one day. His name was Lester Sproles." He could feel her shiver and held her tighter.</p><p>"I'm right here Liv. It's me. It's your El. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what you're about to tell me."</p><p>She knew there was no going back now and she swallowed hard. She had reached the place of no return.</p><p>"Who was he Liv?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Cliffhanger! Haha. She tells him the whole story NEXT chapter. How will he react and what will happen next? Also, what or 'who' was the second present Lester mentioned when he was taunting her? Thanks for reading :p I've got a couple tests this week but I will try to update when I can. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Comfort In Chaos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Same warning as the last chapter. Some parts may be triggering especially this one as she describes the abuse. Proceed with caution.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own either show because if I did El never would have left.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm not proud of myself El. I made some really stupid decisions and talking to this guy was one of many. I should have ignored him. I should've-"</p><p>"Liv I'm not judging you. I won't judge you. You're my partner, for better or worse." It wasn't the first time he had said that line, but every time she heard it it made her melt and her heart flutter. Despite the situation, she smiled at his words.</p><p>"Anyway my shift had ended and he was still there, he had stayed the whole day and just stared at me."</p><p>"He was baiting you."</p><p>"I know that now but back then, I was so hell bent on proving my mother wrong about no one wanting me that I let myself be caught."</p><p>"Honey you were vulnerable and this creep took advantage of you. You didn't 'let' him do anything." She almost rolled her eyes at the fact that she hadn't even told him everything and he had already slipped into his SVU detective and protective dad mode.</p><p>"Elliot please let me get through this. I know you want to comfort me and I love you for that but-"</p><p>"Ok." He held her tighter. "Ok."</p><p>"Anyway, it wasn't bad at first. We talked and flirted like any other couple would. I didn't pay any attention to warning signs because I was so glad I was far enough away from my mother that she wouldn't interfere." She scoffed and shook her head. "Here I was, wanting to become a cop and I was blinded by a toxic relationship. I just-I wanted to feel like someone cared you know?" She was silent for a minute and shuddered, not sure if she could continue but knowing she had to.</p><p>"I care Olivia. I will always care."</p><p>"I didn't know you back then Elliot. I didn't have anyone. I had no one that showed me the way I should expect to be treated by a man. My mother made sure I had no self worth so yeah he said some insulting, demeaning things. He treated me like an object. He acted like he was the boss of me and I just thought that was normal. I didn't think I deserved any better." There were fresh tears in her eyes and as heartbroken as he was for her he had to convince himself to not wipe her tears and scoop her in his arms and tell her she didn't have to say anything else. She was right. She needed to tell him so they could get this guy and she wouldn't be able to tell him if he kept 'coming to her rescue' so to speak. No matter how painful seeing her hurting was.</p><p>"He was a drinker like my mother and he smoked. It disgusts me now but I wanted someone to love me so bad that sometimes I'd join him. I was a mess and I was so needy, hanging on his every word. He could sense it. He told me he loved me and I should have known it was crap but...god Elliot I was so blind!" She choked back a sob. "I told him about my mother and about my father being a rapist, I told him everything and he laughed! He laughed and said that I looked better now than I did when he first met me because I was with him, and I was lucky I found him because I looked like trash and that now that he knew where I came from he understood. He treated me like my mother did and I let him."</p><p>"Honey-"</p><p>"Don't Elliot. Please."</p><p>"I should have left him that night. I should have broken up with him but he had me convinced that he was the only one who would ever want me, he convinced me that I should be grateful for the time he's wasted on me and that no one else would look out for me like he did. Things only went downhill from there."</p><p>"He wanted me to drop out of the academy to be with him. He promised me he'd give me so much I never thought I could have. We were gonna travel the world. I couldn't drop out, I had to finish school. He taunted me, saying I shouldn't bother because I was too weak to be a cop anyway. Luckily that was one thing I wasn't stupid about, I graduated that May. I still didn't leave him though, and I moved in with him that summer. It started with little things, like demands that I cook for him and clean the apartment...he acted like he was my 'master' because it was all I was good for, but he kept telling me he loved me. I was so freakin' desperate for someone to love me that I just did as I was told. He hadn't hit me though, not yet. It was just verbal stuff. We slept together but, that was part of being in a relationship."</p><p>"Did he ever force you?"</p><p>"He didn't have to. I didn't have any relationship experience. I had never had a relationship like you and I have but it was still a relationship. There was no 'making love' or resting in each other's protective embrace or anything like that. I felt used. I felt cheap, but I didn't say no because I thought it was normal. That it was because I was dirty and he was fixing me. Yeah, he treated me like a piece of meat, he made me do these sexy dances for him and crap but he didn't 'force' me because I let him. He didn't hurt me because I convinced myself that I liked it."</p><p>"Baby he took advantage of you. What he did to you was wrong. I don't care if you were in a relationship or if he convinced you it was consensual. I want to kill him for that alone."</p><p>"He came home one night and...El I don't get scared easily, not even back then. He was so angry." She sobbed and he feared the worst. "He had some kind of construction job and he got into a fist fight with a co-worker and was fired. He came home with a gun." She shivered at the memory.</p><p>"God Liv-"</p><p>"That should have been the last straw. He told me to pack my bags and I asked him where we were going and he-" She gripped Elliot's hand to hold herself together. "He pointed the gun at me and said I was coming with him and I wasn't allowed to ask questions. I thought he was gonna kill me, Elliot. I really did." He couldn't take it anymore, he felt like a monster making her re live everything, putting her through this pain.</p><p>"Shhhh...you're safe now sweetie. We don't have to talk about this anymore tonight."</p><p>"Yes, I do, because it's not just my life at risk Elliot. I can't hide anymore. I can handle this El."</p><p>"I know you can sweetheart. I just hate that you went through this. I wish I had been the one who you had eyes on in that diner that day."</p><p>"So do I." She rests her head on his shoulder and sniffled.</p><p>"Honey anytime you want to stop-"</p><p>"If I can't tell you now, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to."</p><p>"Ok." He kissed her head sweetly.</p><p>"We drove for hours. Every once in awhile we'd stop and he'd go into a convenience store or something. He'd come out with these wads of cash. I didn't think anything of it and I was too scared to say anything. He had his gun in his hand the whole time. We stopped at a hotel that night and the next day kept driving. I told him I was tired and just wanted to go home and he told me what I wanted didn't matter. He stopped in a small town in Mississippi, and he went into get us a room at a motel. I stayed in the car but, unbeknownst to him, I was awake...and I heard the gunshot. I should've run El! Why didn't I run?"</p><p>"Olivia you were miles away from home and you were traumatized. You were vulnerable. What were you supposed to do?"</p><p>"I confronted him that night El. It was stupid and I paid for it, but I did."</p><p>"Your cop instincts kicked in."</p><p>"I told him I knew he had shot that receptionist and I knew he had stolen that money and that if he didn't turn himself in I was going to turn him in myself. I had never stood up to him before Elliot. I told him I was sick of him treating me like crap, I mean I was YELLING at him."</p><p>"Good for you." He can feel her start to tremble in his arms.</p><p>"He beat me, Elliot. He threatened to kill me and he-he...it hurt so bad Elliot I was so scared." She sobbed. "He said I wasn't allowed to question him, that I was to obey him or I'd be punished, that he owned me and he-" She didn't have to finish. They were detectives in the same unit.</p><p>"Oh, sweetheart-</p><p>"You know what's pathetic El?"</p><p>"Livia, baby you are not pa-"</p><p>"I was training to be a cop! I wanted to be a cop and I was too scared to fight him." She half laughed and half sobbed. "I was laying there sobbing, begging him to stop and telling him I was sorry I shouted at him. That I was sorry and hat I'd do anything he wanted and God Elliot….that whole time you know what I was thinking? I wanted my mother El! Isn't that pitiful? I was terrified and I wanted my mother. Which is crazy cause she would have just said she told me so! I just-"</p><p>"Olivia Margaret Benson listen to me. You. Are. Not. Weak. You are not pathetic. You are human. Being a cop has nothing to do with it. You were thousands of miles away from home, you were traumatized and there was no one to help you. You were a victim Olivia. You were being tortured by someone who was supposed to love you, to take care of you. You didn't want your mother specifically honey, you wanted a mother figure. You needed someone to protect you when you were scared. There is nothing pathetic about that."</p><p>"El-"</p><p>"No, no I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself. I love you. I will take care of you. I will protect you. You have that now sweetheart but you didn't then. You didn't know safety but you needed it so bad. All you knew was pain and fear at the hands of people you should have been able to trust. Anyone in your situation would have reacted the way you did. Cop or not. Ok?" He kisses her forehead lightly. "We don't have to talk about this anymore tonight. I'll call the captain and find somewhere to take you to keep you safe and we'll get this monster. I'll kill him Liv. I'll never let him or anyone else hurt you ever again. Ever."</p><p>"Elliot you need to know the whole story, I need to tell the rest I can't...I can't hold this in. I need someone El. I need you. I still have nightmares sometimes I can't-I never wanted to admit that cause I didn't want you to think less of me-"</p><p>"I would never Livia. Never." She puts a hand on his cheek.</p><p>"I know that. I'm safe right now Elliot. Im with you. I know I'm safe. I'll have to tell this again in order to solve this case. In order to get justice for Althea-"</p><p>"Althea?"</p><p>"I'm getting to that I just...you're my safety. You give me strength and I don't know if I'll be strong enough telling the rest of the squad if I don't tell you everything first." She kisses him gently, both of them giving the other reassurance.</p><p>"You're the strongest person I know no matter what but if you want to continue I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll never let you go Liv."</p><p>"The next day he dragged me out of bed and had his gun pointed at me and told me to hurry up and get dressed. We drove around and stopped at a diner. There was no one there except a grandma who worked there and her grandson. He made me go in with him, worried I'd try to run if he left me in the car. It was horrible El. Her grandson was hiding behind her desk and Lester...he was so mad. He wanted money but she tried to tell him she didn't have any to give him. She made a move towards the phone. I think she was gonna call the cops and he shot her! Right in front of me and I-i didn't"</p><p>"You are not responsible for what he did Olivia."</p><p>"I was an accessory." He shook his head and tilted her head to look at him.</p><p>"You. Were. A. Victim. He tortured you baby. He traumatized you into submission. He had a weapon. He could've killed you." His voice cracked at the thought.</p><p>"He shot another man at a gas station that afternoon. He had stolen from a convenience store. It was a small town, word travels fast. I had a feeling the cops would be looking and I was praying he'd get caught. I think he could sense it too. We stopped in a remote area with a pond. He wanted to ditch our car. There was a woman with the grandson that I told you about earlier. Her name was Althea Tibbs." She swallows hard.</p><p>"What happened love?"</p><p>"I thought he was just gonna steal her car, she tossed the keys to me and I thought that was it, but he had other plans. He forced them into the car with us, he kidnapped them El and took us to some abandoned cabin. We just sat there, worried about what he would do to us. I talked to her and, in some weird way, we were friends. We only had each other and I wanted to protect her El. I needed to protect her."</p><p>"That's who you are Olivia. You're a protector, you're not the criminal. Please believe that."</p><p>"He didn't want us talking. He made us sit down and he pulled me to him. I tried to tell him she was my friend, that I liked her and that just made him mad. He owned me. I wasn't allowed to have anyone else. He said 'I'm your best friend and it hurts that you forgot that' and kissed me. I felt sick Elliot. My boyfriend kissed me and I felt sick-"</p><p>"Your abuser forced himself on you."</p><p>"I know that now but back then I didn't. He slapped me right in front of them. Then he went outside for a few minutes and Althea came over to me, she was pleading with me. She said she could help me, that her husband was a police officer and that she could help me because what he was doing to me was wrong and if I didn't let her help me I could be charged with accessory for being with him when he killed those people. We tried to get out El. We decided to make a run for it, I had to save them! Me and the little boy got out but Althea, she tripped and he caught her. He tried to shoot at us but we got away. We went to the police station and I told them everything and-" She was closed to hyperventilating and he shifted so she could lean her head on his shoulder. He rocked her back and forth, trying to soothe her as much as he could."</p><p>"You saved that little boy's life Olivia. You saved him."</p><p>"I was so scared El. I thought he'd kill her. I led the cops to the cabin and he was holding her hostage with a gun to her head and I got out-"</p><p>"You got out and confronted him!? Liv you were a civilian!"</p><p>"IT WAS MY FAULT ELLIOT! HE WANTED TO HURT ME REGARDLESS IT WAS MY FAULT! I HAD TO SAVE HER!" She knew he wasn't angry with her, that it was just his overprotective instincts kicking in, but her guilt was consuming her.</p><p>"Liv, baby look at me-"</p><p>"I begged him not to kill her, I told him he wouldn't get away with it. I told him he didn't really love me but he wouldn't listen. The cops tried to negotiate with him but he wouldn't take any deals and I just stood there not knowing how to save her."</p><p>"Olivia it wasn't your job to-"</p><p>"SHUT UP ELLIOT!" She ripped herself from his arms and paced the room. "They shot him El. One of the cops shot him and I...he was supposed to be dead Elliot! He was supposed to be dead! It was supposed to be over! I moved back to New York, I changed my name back to Olivia Benson and I-I thought it was over!" She picked up one of the cracked plates and through it on the ground, shattering it. She was hysterical.</p><p>"Liv no, you're gonna hurt yourself."</p><p>"Shut UP Elliot!" She pushed at his chest, he knew she was denying herself comfort. It broke his heart.</p><p>"Olivia-"</p><p>"No, no no no no no." She sobbed and he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly as she continued to resist.</p><p>"Baby I know you're upset right now-"</p><p>"Upset!? The source of my nightmares for the past 10 years is back from the dead! I think I have the right to be upset!"</p><p>"You do sweetheart, you absolutely do. But I'm not letting you suffer alone anymore. You can yell at me and hit me all you want. I'm not going anywhere Olivia. Ever. I love you and I. Don't. Care. How. Hard. You. Push. Me. I'm not running. I'm not. I love you Olivia. I love you so much and I'm going to keep you safe, I'm not letting you out of my sight. I love you and I'm still gonna be your rock. I'm still gonna be here because I can't leave you alone. I can't let you destroy yourself like this."</p><p>"El-" She steps back to look at him and sees tears in his eyes.</p><p>"Stop punishing yourself Olivia and let me hold you. Let me lighten your load. Please."</p><p>"I don't-" he kisses her deeply and passionately. Pouring his love into their kiss.</p><p>"You do. You deserve the world Olivia but you definitely deserve love and protection. Let yourself lean on me, sweetheart. I love you, beyond measure.</p><p>"Elliot" she breathed, his name sounded like a prayer and the hands that had been pushing him away were now gripping his shirt, clinging to him, pulling him closer.</p><p>"I'm here Livia. I'm here."</p><p>"When you dropped me off I went to take a bath, clean the dirt of the day off you know?" She pauses for a moment.</p><p>"It's ok. Take your time, tell me when you're ready."</p><p>"I heard a noise and at first I thought I was just paranoid but then...someone broke down my door and I heard footsteps. My first thought was that it was White, but I didn't have my gun with me cause I was still in the tub and then I heard his voice. He was taunting me. Telling me he had found me and that I owed him and that he was gonna punish me." She shuddered. "I was so scared and I-all I had with me was my cell phone. I blew out the candles and hid in the closet and I f-forgot to d-drain the-the tub."</p><p>"Baby you're gonna hyperventilate, breathe slowly. I'm right here. I won't let anything happen to you." She snuggled into him, letting his heartbeat and voice soothe the storm in her mind.</p><p>"That's why you're the one I called El. I knew you'd save me. I knew you'd get there in time."</p><p>"I wish I had never left you alone in the first place. I wish I had been there to protect you."</p><p>"You DID protect me El! You saved me! You were my only hope! If you hadn't been there-he didn't hurt me El. You made sure of it. You got there in time. I could hear him in my bedroom moving things around. He told me he had left 'presents' for me...I guess one was Althea." She shivered. "Then he-OH GOD Elliot I-he was in the bathroom! He t-told me I was a hard one to find and he knew I was a cop and I was weak for hiding and not arresting him and I thought he was gonna find me but then you-you showed up and he left but I was so scared I didn't realize it was you and I-" And just like that, 10 years of guilt and terror was let out.</p><p>"It's alright honey, it's alright." She shook in his arms, her sobs of terror causing his own tears to fall. No more words were needed. She was finally safe.</p><p>She sobbed.</p><p>He held her tight and told her he loved her again. That he'd protect her. She clung to him while CSU gathered evidence and left. She cried again. He never let go of her, not for a moment.</p><p>She unleashed the demons that had been haunting her because of her secret and he kept her steady. Neither knew what would happen next but for now, she was safe in the arms of her anchor. Her protector.</p><p>Her Elliot.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Longest chapter yet! I hope this will make up for the fact that I won't be able to update for a few days due to tests this week. Thanks for reading! See you next time :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In The Heat of The Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Same warning as the last chapter. Some parts may be triggering. Proceed with caution.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own either show because if I did El never would have left.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Althea's body was carried out of Olivia's apartment, she looked away, unable to bring herself to look at the woman who she had once considered her friend and vowed to protect. She found that Elliot's Blue dress shirt, the one she loved because it brought out his eyes and its 3-quarter sleeves gave her a nice view of his muscular arms that were wrapped around her protectively, was better to look at with the guilt that was consuming her.</p><p>"We gotta call her husband, her family." Her voice cracked and she sounded distant.</p><p>"We will but I need to get you somewhere safe first."</p><p>"And call Don and the rest of them, he has all your addresses El and the precinct how will we?-" she's cut off by his phone ringing.</p><p>"Stabler." A pause and his already worried expression increases. "Maureen? Honey slow down what's wrong? Ok, you went to my apartment, I'm at Liv's I'm sorry I didn't-WHAT!? Is he still there? Ok. Ok. No, baby, it's too dangerous, he might see you if he comes back just stay where you are. We're on our way."</p><p>"El?" Her voice is shaking.</p><p>"We need to go! Now! He grabs her hand and heads for the door but stops before opening it, realizing that going to save the other person he loved would put his Liv in danger.</p><p>"Crap, Liv I'm so sorry I didn't think-"</p><p>"Elliot, what is going on? Please. Is Maureen hurt?" He swallowed hard.</p><p>"Someone broke into my apartment, they're gone now but I need to get her before she comes back but...Liv-"</p><p>"Go, I'll be fine. He might not even come back tonight." As scared as she was for herself, the thought of something happening to Elliot or one of his kids was even more frightening.</p><p>"I can't leave you, but-"</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"Come with me but just...stay close ok?"</p><p>"Always." She kissed him gently.</p><p>X</p><p>His apartment, like Olivia's, had been, was trashed. The intruder had wanted to make his presence known. There was broken glass and another spray painted note that sent chills down his spine and made Olivia grip his hand tighter.</p><p>She belongs to me. Sleep with one eye open Detective Stabler, no one is safe.</p><p>"El-" She was shaking and he pulled her closer to him, his gun pointed at the door, ready to take on the monster that threatened to crush his world.</p><p>"E-Elliot we-we need to find Maureen." His pulse was racing and he snapped, looking around his apartment frantically.</p><p>"MAUREEN!? MAUREEN!" He kept ahold of Olivia's hand the whole time, too worried to let her out of his sight, she wasn't complaining as the nerves were consuming her as well.</p><p>"Elliot maybe she-"</p><p>"Dad!? Olivia!? I'm in the closet, is he gone?"</p><p>"Oh thank god!" Elliot half sobbed, throwing the door open. Maureen ran into her dad's arms, which had wrapped around her and Olivia in a protective embrace, sheltering them from harm. "What happened?"</p><p>"Mom and I got into a fight again over her stupid new boyfriend." Maureen rolled her eyes. "I just wanted out of the house so I was going to surprise you and stay the weekend, you weren't home so I was gonna make you dinner and just hang out here till you got home but I heard a crashing noise in the bedroom and I ran into the closet, there was this guy throwing things around and saying something about someone named Audine and how she wasn't yours to take and he would find her and she was gonna pay, he said he'd kill you daddy!" She sobbed.</p><p>"I'm ok sweetie. It's gonna be ok." He held her tight. Olivia had moved away from him slightly, trying to control her breathing, she was pale and trembling. She knew Lester could do a lot of horrible things to her, but the thought of her partner being hurt was even worse.</p><p>"Olivia, are you ok?" Maureen asked, noting the terror in her father's partner/girlfriend's eyes.</p><p>"He...he's after me."</p><p>"Why? And who's Audine?" Both detectives swallowed hard at Maureen's question. A noise from the kitchen stole their attention. Another crash and Elliot sprang into action.</p><p>"Get behind me! Both of you!" It was ironic, Olivia thought, how domestic the situation felt. The husband protecting his wife and daughter. She had practically been reduced to a civilian at this point, her badge, gun, and handcuffs gone, and now she and Maureen had backed into the closet, being shielded by Elliot who had his gun pointed in the general direction of the kitchen, determined to protect his family. Olivia had ushered Maureen behind her, feeling like a protective mother to the young woman, while the protective husband/father sheltered them both. She crouched down slightly, resting her head on Elliot's back. One, so Lester wouldn't see her and two because she was still Detective Benson and she was gonna protect her partner whether she had her gun or not. The trio jumped when they heard what sounded like a door slam. It was a couple minutes later when they noticed the smell and the living room and kitchen of Elliot Stabler's apartment was engulfed in flames.</p><p>"Holy shi-" The smell of gas had filled the bedroom now and Elliot quickly moved out of the way so Olivia and Maureen could get out of the closet. "WINDOW! Hurry!"</p><p>Maureen opened the window and climbed out, Olivia hesitated a moment, worrying for Elliot even though it was her that Lester was after.</p><p>"I'm right behind you Li-livia" The smoke causes him to break into a coughing fit and tears spring to Olivia's eyes.</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"GO!" More coughing. "Run to the car, I'm right behind you sweetheart." The trail of gasoline had made it to his bedroom and flames were now licking the doorway. Olivia had climbed out the window by now and she and Maureen watched in horror as Elliot struggled to escape due to the smoke filling his lungs. She remembered him telling her once that he had a reactive airway as a kid. Any of them could have been hurt, but he was the most vulnerable, and Lester must have figured that out. This night had gone from bad to worse.</p><p>"ELLIOT!" Olivia raced back to the window to help him onto the fire escape.</p><p>"No. No Liv you'll get hurt! Stay back!" He wheezed a couple more times and finally got out, taking a few breaths. Olivia threw herself into his arms and held him tight. She had no idea what she would have done if she had lost him.</p><p>"I'm alright Livia, I'm alright." They stayed in each other's embrace, Maureen standing on the other side of her dad, as the flames claimed his home, but the only thing on their minds was how thankful they were because they could have lost each other tonight.</p><p>"He must have heard us and-god El." She snuggled into him and there were tears in her eyes when she could feel his pounding heartbeat in the warm, loving embrace that had almost been ripped away from her forever.</p><p>"I'm ok baby. I promise." Maureen snapped out of her shock and joined Olivia, clutching onto her father tightly. Olivia spoke up again.</p><p>"Don't you ever scare me like that again Elliot Stabler! You should have gone out first you know how dangerous-" She knew he would die to protect her if that's what it took, but that didn't mean she would let him.</p><p>"Olivia-"</p><p>"You need to go, Elliot, you and Maureen need to go somewhere safe I can't-"</p><p>"I'm gonna call Kathy and have her get Maureen and then find somewhere for you and I to stay together."</p><p>"El-"</p><p>"Daddy I don't want to go back to mom's, Peter's a jerk! I wanna stay with you and Livia" Maureen held her father tighter and Olivia broke eye contact with him for a moment to turn to Maureen.</p><p>"It's too dangerous honey. I would never forgive myself if something happened to either one of you. It would make me feel a lot better if I knew you were safe."</p><p>"But I hate Peter, and mom thinks I'm being dramatic but I'm not."</p><p>"Maureen, your mother and I had a nasty divorce and I'm sorry you guys were involved in it, I never wanted you to get hurt but we weren't happy together, it wasn't a healthy environment for you guys so we both had to move on. Can you please try to get used to Peter and your mom like you got used to me and Olivia." Elliot pleaded.</p><p>"I never had to get used to you guys, I've always loved Olivia! She's sweet and pretty and has a big heart. Peter's the opposite but mom's blinded by her disgusting love for him." She rolls her eyes and Elliot sighs.</p><p>"Maybe you can do something with friends this weekend then, but I want you safe." He then turns to Olivia, who is still shaking over what just almost happened, and cupped her cheek in his hand. The swirls of blue in his eyes calmed her as she leaned into his touch. "And you can keep trying to get me to leave you all you want but it's not going to happen. I promised I would protect you and that's exactly what I'm gonna do ok? No matter what it takes." He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead.</p><p>"Elliot he wants to kill you! He almost did! Me being safe isn't worth it if you're not in this world with me. I can't lose you El. I wouldn't survive losing you." More tears pool in her eyes and She kisses him before he could respond. The partners lost themselves in their kiss and had almost forgotten Maureen was there until they heard her clear her throats when it deepened and didn't seem to be ending.</p><p>"I don't mean to ruin the moment, cause you guys are way cuter than mom and Peter but...don't we need to figure out where we're going, get dad checked out by the paramedics and call your squad?" Olivia nods but Elliot rolls his eyes at the 'get dad checked out by the paramedics' line.</p><p>"I'm fine. I don't need to be checked out." Olivia smirked.</p><p>"Hey that's my line, and you're getting checked out Stabler." Elliot chuckled and smirked back and whispered in her ear.</p><p>"You are the only one who gets to check me out, Benson." She laughs and smacks his chest lightly and the trio heads down the fire escape, noticing the swarm of emergency vehicles that are pulling up to the apartment complex. Among the other cars are a worried and frazzled Captain Don Cragen...and a fuming former Kathy Stabler. Kathy runs up to the first and Olivia steps in front of Elliot before Kathy slaps him. She shakes her head and turns to Maureen.</p><p>"Come on, we're going home before your father gets you killed!"</p><p>"Kathy-"</p><p>"It wasn't Elliot's fault it was mine."</p><p>"Olivia!"</p><p>"Of course it was, you just loooove destroying this family don't you, what was your plan huh, kill my daughter so you could have Elliot all to yourself!?"</p><p>"KATHY! That's ENOUGH!" Elliot growled, wrapping a protective arm around Olivia.</p><p>"Olivia loves us mom, unlike you and Peter!"</p><p>"Peter is more of a father to you than this deadbeat's ever been!" The adults watched in shock as Maureen slapped her mother in the face.</p><p>"Don't treat dad like that! Or Olivia!"</p><p>"You're defending her but you hate Peter? She's a homewrecking-"</p><p>"You say one more word about Olivia and I'll arrest you for harassing a police officer." Elliot stepped forward, knowing Olivia would take the jabs personally. She already blamed herself and he wanted to protect her from any more guilt.</p><p>"Olivia is a better mother to me than you KATHY!"</p><p>"She almost got you killed!"</p><p>"Kathy, I'm sorry-" Olivia starts but Elliot cuts her off.</p><p>"Shhhh baby you have nothing to apologize for. You know this wasn't your fault." Kathy glares at them and yells back.</p><p>"YES, IT WAS!"</p><p>"Enough!" Captain Cragen interrupts.</p><p>"She tried to kill my daughter and husband!"</p><p>"EX husband!" Elliot roars back.</p><p>"Miss Malone I am NOT above arresting you! LEAVE! NOW!" Cragen yelled and Kathy glared before walking away. "Maureen I'm sorry, but you have to go with your mother. Someone is after these two and I don't want you in the middle of it."</p><p>"Grandpa Don I-"</p><p>"That's an order." She hugs her dad and Olivia one last time.</p><p>"Take care of each other."</p><p>"We will sweetie."</p><p>"Cap." Olivia starts and both men turn to her, their hearts cracking at the tears streaming down her face.</p><p>"Are you two ok?"</p><p>"A little shaken up but...we're alive."</p><p>"He might have smoke inhalation, he needs to be looked at."</p><p>"What the hell happened? I got a call from homicide saying that Richard White was found dead and left on the steps of the precinct. Then CSU's captain calls me and says they just got done collecting evidence at my detective's apartment, and while I'm on my way there a call comes over the radio that there's a break in and fire over at Elliot's." Olivia sobs and buries her head in Elliot's chest, telling him about what had happened 10 years ago was hard enough, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take.</p><p>"Elliot?" He turns to the man holding Olivia in his arms, whispering words of comfort in her ear.</p><p>"Call Munch, Cassidy, Jefferies, and Carmichael and tell them to meet us at the precinct. This affects everyone."</p><p>X</p><p>The medics gave Elliot an inhaler, and he was given oxygen for a couple minutes to make sure he was ok. Olivia had sat beside him the whole time, neither of them wanting to let their partner out of their sight. He was covered in soot but luckily didn't have any burns. She kissed him again before they left the ambulance, beyond thankful he was still with her.</p><p>When they arrived at the precinct, they were reminded of the dire situation they were in, the M.E. handed them a note that had been found on the body of the perp in their current case:</p><p>Present #2. I'm not poetic like he was. But what he would have done to you would have paled in comparison to what I can do sweetheart. You remember, don't you? Don't try to hide...I was able to get some valuable information from Mr. 'no hard feelings', he made the mistake of wanting to join me though...I work alone, I don't share. Guess I closed your case for you...you can thank me when I find you.</p><p>She shuddered and both her and Elliot wanted to vomit.</p><p>"Come on, let's go inside." He held her tightly in his arms, the fear of something happening to her consuming him. They had to get away from the city and fast.</p><p>Captain Cragen, detectives Munch, Cassidy, and Jefferies, and ADA Abbie Carmichael were in the squad room when they arrived and Olivia took a deep breath. This would be hard, but these people were her family and she had to protect them like they had protected her in the year she had been at SVU. She loved them, Elliot most of all, and she gripped his hand tightly. As long as she had Elliot Stabler, she could get through this. She could get through anything.</p><p>"I'll start with what I know. This person is much more dangerous than Richard White, he knows where we live according to the Captain, he's after Olivia and he was bold enough to come to a police station. and to set Elliot's apartment on fire." John Munch stated matter of factly and Olivia leaned closer to Elliot who put his arms around her.</p><p>"I can tell them if you need me to honey." She shook her head, she couldn't let herself be weakened like this.</p><p>"Just...just please-" He held her tighter and kissed her temple.</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere." She swallowed hard and turned to face their colleagues.</p><p>"About 10 years ago…"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Another cliffhanger! Haha, you'll find out their reactions next chapter. If this chapter seemed intense, things will only get more intense from here...and that's the only clue you get :) hee hee. Till next time! Thanks for reading :)</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Protective</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Some parts may be triggering due to abuse mentioned in this story. This particular chapter contains a flashback. Proceed with caution.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own either show.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When she told Elliot, she described the events in intimate detail, not afraid to show her emotions or insecurities. She felt safe breaking down in front of him. This time though, her voice was distant, as if she was speaking about a victim in a case they were working, not her. It worried Elliot, she knew, but she would be ashamed if she fell apart in front of the rest of the squad, not to mention at the precinct. There was not a single dry eye in the room when she was done, and Elliot, who had to force himself to not chime in and comfort her, knowing she would see that as being weakened in the other's eyes, pulled her close and kissed her head, a simple reminder that he loved her and was still with her, both physically and emotionally.</p><p>Olivia had only been with the SVU squad for about a year and a half. She was the baby of the unit and she quickly had become aware of how protective the whole unit was with her. They were her family, and they were the first people who loved her unconditionally. When she and Elliot had first become partners, they had an instant connection. Elliot, a single divorcee, and father of four had asked Cragen about a month into his partnership with Olivia if there was really any policy against partners being in a relationship. Cragen had smirked, knowing why he was asking, told him not to worry about it as long it didn't interfere with their ability to do their job, and then slapped him on the back saying 'good luck' and told Elliot that Olivia was like a daughter to him so if he hurt her there would be consequences. He drove her home and they ordered takeout from the Chinese place that had been their favorite late night spot during a long case. They were sitting on her couch when he asked her, she had been hesitant, and he now knew why, but eventually agreed to let him take her to dinner. They hit it off and had been going strong ever since. Last Christmas was when he told her he loved her for the first time. She kissed him, too speechless to say anything and tried to keep her tears at bay. He wiped her eyes and kissed her again, in a way that she felt she would have melted in the snow if his arms weren't wrapped securely around her. It was the first night in a long time she didn't have a nightmare about Lester Sproles and her life as Audine. Her work with SVU and her relationship with Elliot had been enough to keep that part of her life on that backburner...until now.</p><p>"Stabler, when you go to kill this guy, leave some of him for the rest of us, will you?" Detective Brian Cassidy spoke up darkly. Even though he and Olivia had never had a relationship, he had a secret crush on her. He would never take her from Elliot, not that he could if he tried, but he would definitely take on anyone who wanted to hurt her.</p><p>"So...where are we gonna go?" Abbie asked the question that was on everyone's mind since they knew the man after Olivia had everyone's address.</p><p>Captain Cragen cleared his throat, feeling a bit choked up himself after hearing what the woman he loved like a daughter had been through.</p><p>"I think the best option, for now, is for us to all stay here tonight-"</p><p>"Just baiting ourselves to this guy?" Was Detective Monique Jeffries reply.</p><p>"Cap's right, it's safer if we stay together until we can make a plan," Elliot spoke up, still holding Olivia, who had leaned her head on his shoulder.</p><p>"Cap I don't want to put all of you at risk like this. I'll stay here, you guys should get out of the city and Elliot should go home to his kids and Kathy-"</p><p>"Seriously Liv? One, we're divorced and Kathy hates my guts and probably wants to kill me as much as this psycho does and if we all just leave who will protect you?"</p><p>"You wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for me!"</p><p>"We'd still be in the Richard White mess or some other perp and that's part of the job. We're gonna protect you Liv, and you might as well stop trying to fight Elliot on this. Poor guy's just as stubborn as you are. Together you're impossible." John Munch replied causing the partners in question to roll their eyes and rest of the squad to chuckle.</p><p>"As of right now Olivia we have to treat this as if you're a civilian in danger-"</p><p>"Because I am-"</p><p>"Don't take this the wrong way, you're as tough as all of us, perhaps even tougher. But you are in danger and we're your best protection." John looks at Elliot and continues. "Or, well, your partner is your best protection. We're just trusty sidekicks."</p><p>"I know he is. But who's going to protect him? Who's gonna protect any of you?"</p><p>"Tonight, we are all going to stay here. I'll stay down in my office and everyone else can sleep in the cribs and loft area. You can argue over which beds you get when I'm done talking-" Cragen spoke up and looked at his detectives. This was his squad. His family. And at the end of the day, he would fight for all of them. "Munch, Jefferies, Cassidy and Carmichael and I will stay here together and do everything we can to find this psycho." He pauses and looks directly at his youngest detective and her partner who was still holding her protectively. "As for you two, it would probably be best to get you as far away from the city as possible."</p><p>"My parents used to take us to a beach house in Cape Cod in the summer sometimes, it's still there, I took the twins last year. That's about 4 and a half hours." Elliot spoke up.</p><p>"What if he tracks our locations through our cell phones or follows us in his car. He's clever Cap." Olivia replied.</p><p>"That's why I'm giving you guys a burner phone, we will call you with updates from the case but only accept calls from the precinct. He won't be able to track you with these."</p><p>"Maybe we should leave now while it's still dark. It will be harder for him to follow us or track our car then it would in daylight." Elliot suggested.</p><p>"El we don't have anything with us. My apartment is a crime scene and yours is destroyed."</p><p>"CSU's finished at yours Olivia if you want-" Cragen interrupted</p><p>"I'm not going back there, I can't. Not tonight. Not while he's-"</p><p>"There are shops in the area, we can get basic necessities there. I still have some old clothes in the house itself and-"</p><p>"I'm not wearing your ex-wife's clothes," Liv said smirking.</p><p>"I will take you shopping."</p><p>"You're sweet El, but I'm kidding." She whispered this next part in his ear. "Besides, I like wearing your clothes better anyway." If the circumstances weren't so serious, he might have blushed at the comment.</p><p>"We can put you in an unmarked car like you use undercover so you can't be tracked. It won't take long to set things up. Whatever you do….stay together." Cragen's voice had a fatherly tone that gave Olivia comfort. He was worried but determined to keep them safe.</p><p>"I have no intention of letting her out of my sight. Ever." Elliot's blue eyes locked with hers, holding her steady. The swirls were fiery and strong with determination and loyalty. He would protect her. He would always protect her. She allowed herself to relax in his embrace. Still, a part of her was unsettled because she knew Elliot would do anything to keep her safe, including risking her own life. She couldn't imagine losing him, nor could she think or anything that would be more devastating.</p><p>"Neither do I," Olivia replied just as strongly.</p><p>X</p><p>They were on the road in half an hour. Elliot had the burner phone in his pocket and his gun was in between their seats, allowing either one of them the opportunity to reach for it if needed. Olivia's gun had been stolen, making Elliot her sole protector, but she was still his partner and she would go to the same lengths to protect him that he would to protect her. Always. One hand was on the steering wheel while the other held hers firmly. To protect her in case something happened and they needed to get out fast, and to comfort her, to remind her that he was there and that she was safe. They had been driving for almost 2 hours and the stress of the night was weighing on them both. Olivia was exhausted, but Elliot knew she was fighting sleep. He pulled over to the side of the road so he could lean over and kiss her head gently and stroke her hair.</p><p>"You can rest honey. It's ok. I'm right here." She closed her eyes and leaned closer to him, resting her head on his arm while still holding his hand.</p><p>"El?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I love you." She yawned and scooted closer in her seat so she could wrap her arms around his while his other hand was on the steering wheel. He could feel tears prick his eyes, the stress of the night combined with his love and worry for the woman in the passenger seat.</p><p>"I love you too sweetie. Get some sleep ok." His soothing voice, combined with the quiet lull of the road was enough to finally allow her body to relax in the midst of the chaos surrounding them.</p><p>X</p><p>She started to come out of her slumber about an hour and a half later. The first thing that registered was that she was in a car that seemed to be stopped at a gas station. She was alone in the passenger seat and was leaned back as if someone had delicately positioned her not wanting to wake her up. It was the gun in the middle of the seats that caused her slight panic. The scene was way too familiar.</p><p>She stayed in the car...careful not to make a sound as he got out to enter the small convenience store, the gun that had been aimed at her the night before was gone. She heard the gunshot and whimpered, he had told her not to question him and the night before had shown her what would happen if she did. All she could do was sit in the car hopelessly, praying that someone would catch him and she could escape.</p><p>She didn't hear a gunshot this time. But she kept her head down, not wanting whoever had driven the car to know she was awake. If it was him then he had probably put her to sleep to shut her up. There was some type of badge on the floor next to the gun and some small part of her mind registered that it belonged to a police officer of some kind, but in her state of mind, the thought didn't bring her comfort. Lester probably killed a cop and stole his badge. She leaned back in her seat and squeezed her eyes shut when she heard the driver's door open and saw a figure lean over. She jerked away and whimpered when a hand reached for her.</p><p>"Liv, Liv honey it's just me." A man's voice that definitely wasn't Lester's was calling her by a nickname of the full birth name she hadn't used in a year.</p><p>"Olivia, Olivia it's Elliot, it's your partner." My partner? Maybe Lester had drugged her or something. "It's your El Liv, it's just me. No one else is here. No one is gonna hurt you." She scooted further away from him and Elliot felt his heart shatter. "I'm not going to hurt you, baby. I would never hurt you." His blood ran cold at her next words.</p><p>"You already did Lester. You left me out here so you could go rob and kill those people." The realization of what was happening hit him with force. He couldn't bear to wake her up, but the car needed gas so he stopped and got out. Figuring it was ok because he was close enough to the car to protect her, he left his gun and badge in between the seats. It was late at night, and they had been on the road for a long time. He realized she was having a flashback to when the same type of situation had occurred with Lester. In her mind, she was back in that time in her life. She was Audine and he was Lester and if she woke up while he was out of the car or questioned him he would hurt her. He didn't bother to wipe the tears that welled in his eyes at her trembling form in the passenger seat, curled up as if blocking someone from hitting her. Her eyes were squeezed shut tightly. He picked up his badge, shut his door and walked over to her side and opened the door. He kneeled down so he was level with her, so she didn't feel intimidated. His voice taking on the gentle, soothing tone they were trained to use with victims.</p><p>"Olivia. Olivia, can you please open your eyes. I won't touch you I promise. Please look at me."</p><p>"I'm sorry." Her voice was still shaking with fear and he wanted to hold her in his arms but knew that in her current state she would see that as anything but comfort.</p><p>"You have nothing to be sorry about Olivia. Absolutely nothing." He had started to say baby but realized Lester had likely used pet names on her and that might be triggering. He opted instead to say Olivia as many times as he could, hoping that hearing her real name as opposed to Audine would help her come back to him.</p><p>"You're not there anymore Olivia, and I'm not him. You're Olivia Benson, a New York City Detective and I'm Elliot Stabler, we're partners and...well recently we've become more."</p><p>"I'm...I'm a cop?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"You're my-my partner?" She still wasn't looking at him, but she wasn't shaking as much.</p><p>"Yeah, I am. I can show you my badge if you want." She finally looked at him then but her eyes were still glazed over, the lack of recognition gutted him. He held up the badge.</p><p>"El-Elliot?"</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, we've known each other for almost 2 years now. You call me El for short and I call you Liv...unless I'm being a pain in the ass...then you usually call me Stabler." He laughed nervously. It's his small smile and the calming swirls of blue in his eyes that finally begin to bring her back to the present. She's silent for a minute before he sees the recognition and she sobs in relief.</p><p>"Elliot?" He opens his arms out to her, wanting to comfort her, but still being cautious. The gesture breaks the haze of the flashback she's in and she throws her arms around him, clinging to him tightly. "Elliot?"</p><p>"It's me Liv. It's just me." He moves onto the seat and cradles her in his lap. Soothing her as he wraps his arms around her securely. She snuggles into him and sobs when she feels his heartbeat. It's Elliot. It's Elliot. I'm safe. It's just Elliot.</p><p>"L-Lester, is he?"</p><p>"He's not here baby. He doesn't know where we are. You're safe. I'm right here. I'm not gonna let him or anyone else hurt you."</p><p>"Why-why are we stopped?</p><p>"We have about a half hour to go but I needed to get gas. I'm so sorry sweetheart I just...you were so exhausted. I couldn't wake you up just to step out of the car but I wouldn't have gone far and left you completely alone I promise.</p><p>"It's not your fault El I just panicked."</p><p>"I know, I know. It's alright now." He kissed her head. "It's alright." He holds her quietly for a minute or so, allowing her breathing to go back to normal. "Cragen gave us cash to use so Lester couldn't track my credit card. We have to go inside to pay but I'll be right next to you the whole time. I won't leave you. Not for a second."</p><p>"Ok." She sniffled and he kissed away a couple stray tears before they got out of the car. They walked side by side, holding each other's hands tightly as they walked into the store, paid for the gas and walked out, neither of them let go of the other or even stepped away slightly. They got back in the car and Elliot yawned.</p><p>"You need me to drive babe?"</p><p>"I'll be alright. We don't have much longer. You ok?"</p><p>"Yeah..yeah I haven't had a flashback that bad in a long time."</p><p>"You've been through a lot tonight honey, all cause this psycho's back in your life. Not to mention me being stupid and putting you in a position to have the flashback."</p><p>"Elliot none of that was your fault. I could've had one about anything." The guilt on his face broke her heart and she kissed his forehead. "I love you, Elliot. You have absolutely nothing to be guilty about." He kissed her knuckles as they returned to their earlier position of holding hands as he drove.</p><p>"I love you too. We're gonna get through this Liv. I promise. We're gonna get through this." She gave him a genuine smile and squeezed his hand. As long as they were together things would be ok. She just hoped they stayed that way</p><p>X</p><p>They made it to the 'Stabler Sea Shack' as Elliot's dad used to call it 30 minutes later both feeling emotionally drained. He got out and opened the passenger door to help Olivia out, who had almost drifted off to sleep again.</p><p>"El?"</p><p>"We're here honey." He wrapped his arm around her waist when she nearly tripped getting out of the car.</p><p>"Thank god we don't have any massive suitcases to lug in." She paused when she saw the steps and groaned.</p><p>"You want me to carry you?"</p><p>"I don't want to hurt you El, you're exhausted too."</p><p>"Olivia Benson I would carry you across a desert barefoot with a broken ankle if you needed me too. I think I can handle a few stairs." He smirked and she laughed at his cheesiness.</p><p>"If you say so." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him as he picked her up bridal style and locked the car.</p><p>"I would do anything for you, Olivia."</p><p>"Then do me a favor and take me inside. We clearly both need sleep and we're far enough from the city so we don't have to worry about-" Elliot cut her off, wanting to protect her from even having to say the name.</p><p>"I'm gonna call Cragen and let him know we got here safe, then I'll find us something to sleep in and get the bed ready."</p><p>He carried her up the stairs and into the house, locked the door, kicked off his shoes, and kept her in his arms as he sat on the couch to call their Captain. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest over his heartbeat. He set the gun on the stand next to the couch and held her tightly while informing the Captain over the phone that they had made it safely. He was definitely being overprotective, but at the moment she didn't care. She needed a rock right now, a bodyguard, a person who loved her, and he was pretty great at filling those roles. If there was one positive about the last few hours, it was that she was pretty sure she had fallen in love with Elliot Stabler even more than she already was. She had told him everything and he didn't judge her once. He still loved her and he reminded her of it as much as he could. She had cried in his arms more times than she could count, and he didn't let go, he didn't walk away. If his biggest flaw tonight was his overprotectiveness, she was gonna let him because she knew that he was that way because he loved her so much. It wasn't possession, it was protection. It was safety. It was a pure, strong, loyal, unconditional love and she had craved it, craved someone like him for so long that if he wanted to carry her up the stairs even if she could walk or hold onto her to the point where they weren't even in different parts of the room she wasn't complaining a bit.</p><p>"Cragen says they'll contact Althea's family tomorrow. They're gonna try to rest a few hours too."</p><p>"I just-I hope nothing happens to them."</p><p>"Me neither, but they're all staying together just like we are. He can't hurt us if we're together." He kissed her forehead and stood up, carrying her once again. He turns the light on in the back bedroom and reluctantly puts her down so he can reach into the closet.</p><p>"There are some old clothes in here. You want one of my t-shirts or...my mom might have left something in here?"</p><p>"Your t-shirt is fine." Even at home, she loved wearing things of his that he would leave at her apartment. They kept each other steady at work, and his clothes had the same effect when she would wear them at home after a long case.</p><p>"Just my T-shirt?" He smirked and she smacked him lightly laughing.</p><p>"You've got sweats in there too Stabler."</p><p>"Alright." He hands her a pair of his sweats and an old USMC t-shirt, while he decides on another pair of sweats and takes off the shirt he's wearing. Even under the circumstances, she allowed himself to admire the muscles in his toned chest and arms. The shape the man was in was incredible. To some, his strength was intimidating and angry but with her it meant safety. He could also be extremely gentle, which few other than her got to see. The first time they made love she had been nervous and told him to be gentle with her. He was. He was a slow and gentle but passionate and attentive lover. He didn't question her on why he just moved carefully. Giving gentle care to every inch of her, reminding her with words and actions how much he loved her and how beautiful she was. That night sealed the deal for her. Elliot Stabler had her heart, and she never wanted it back.</p><p>"You get changed, I'm gonna look for stuff to make the bed but I'll be right here. There's a bathroom-"</p><p>"Elliot I'll be fine. I'm not going to suddenly disappear the second you let go of my hand." She smiles to let him know she's not angry at him. The stress-filled sigh she hears from him though makes her smile drop.</p><p>"I'm sorry Liv, I know you won't I just-"</p><p>"You know what, I'll just change in here. It's not like you haven't seen anything." She smirked.</p><p>Once they were both changed and Elliot had put pillows, sheets, and blankets on the bed. The partners laid next to each other, Olivia once again snuggled into Elliot's side with his arms wrapped around her protectively. Her head was on his chest and she planted a small kiss on his skin. The rhythm of his heartbeat was calming.</p><p>"Liv?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Wake me up if you need me ok? Even if you hear a strange sound. I don't care if it's the refrigerator. Wake me up."</p><p>"I promise." She lifted her head to kiss him on the lips. He stroked her cheek with his thumb and pulled her in for another kiss. This time she deepened it slightly before snuggling into his chest again."</p><p>"I love you, Olivia, very much."</p><p>"I love you more."</p><p>"Not possible." She yawned before responding.</p><p>"Night El."</p><p>"Goodnight sweetheart. Get some sleep. I'll keep you safe, no matter what." I know you will was what she wanted to say but sleep took over and the partners, wrapped tightly in each other's embrace were finally able to rest….for tonight anyway.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: dun dun dunnnn we got some fluff but then we have those last 3 words 'for tonight anyway'. What could that mean!? Heehee, I guess you'll have to wait till next chapter to see. Thanks for reading. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Love in Uncertainty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This chapter is fluffy for the most part but as in previous chapters there may be triggers. Proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When she woke up, sunlight was filtering through the windows, and glimmering on the ocean they could see from the balcony attached to the bedroom. It wasn't a bad way to wake up: her partner's strong, loving arms wrapped around her, the sounds of the calm ocean, the bright sun spreading its warmth through the glass. Had they not come here to escape from a mad man, it would have been a relaxing vacation. She hummed pleasantly, snuggling deeper into the shelter of warmth and safety that was Elliot Stabler. She traced the muscles on his chest absentmindedly, wishing she could wake up like this everyday for the rest of her life.</p><p>"Good morning." Her partner spoke in the low, raspy tone that meant he was still half asleep but waking up. It was the sexiest sound she had heard and she shifted to meet his lips. His morning stubble tickled her chin as she did so and she giggled.</p><p>"I haven't shaved in a couple days. We can go to a shop today and get some basic stuff."</p><p>"I don't mind this." She kissed his chin. "But uh, you do have morning breath." She laughed and swatted him when he moved to kiss her again.</p><p>"Well luckily for both of us I saw a couple new toothbrushes and some toothpaste in the bathroom last night. Apparently my kids 'forgot' to use them." She laughed again.</p><p>"Go brush your teeth and then come back here."</p><p>"Yes ma'am." She snuggled back into the pillows and allowed herself to enjoy the moments of paradise before they had to deal with the reality they faced. She got up when she heard the water turn off after he rinsed and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep, long kiss before he could say anything. She hummed when his tongue stroked hers.</p><p>"Mmm Much better." He chuckled and grinned the signature Stabler smile she loved so much and they exchanged a few small, lazy kisses before she rested her head on his shoulder. "You always smell good in the mornings."</p><p>"Just in the mornings?" He smirked and she rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Bruised your ego?</p><p>"It'll survive."</p><p>"Oh great."</p><p>"I guess you've got a thing for early morning BO huh?" She laughed.</p><p>"It's just you El. Your smell, your voice, your touch. I love you, and everything that comes with you. I think I could get used to waking up like this."</p><p>"I love you too beautiful." They lay back down and she snuggled into his arms again while he checked the burner phone.</p><p>"Cragen texted. They called Althea's family and her husband and kids are on a plane now." Just like that, the lighthearted, playful mood of the morning was gone.</p><p>"Her kids?"</p><p>"Two girls, not much older than Lizzie and Dickie."</p><p>"She'll never see them grow up, she'll never have lazy, romantic mornings like this with her husband again, she'll never fix her kids breakfast or help them with their homework or kiss them goodnight again and it's all my fault." Tears fell on his chest as she cried, this time more out of guilt and grief than fear.</p><p>"Honey it's not. You tried to save her. Lester did this. This is on him, not you."</p><p>"I should've known he wasn't dead!"</p><p>"How? How could you have known that baby?"</p><p>"I should've ignored him at the diner but I didn't. I should've left him that first week but I didn't. I should've run and reported him the first time he shot somebody but I didn't-" He cuts her off before she can continue, wishing with everything in him that he could find a way to spare her anymore pain.</p><p>"Olivia if this was somebody else, if a woman came into the precinct. A woman who was the victim of abuse and humiliation by her boyfriend and couldn't keep him from hurting her or anyone else but didn't leave. If she blamed herself for what he did. What would you say? What would Detective Benson tell that woman?"</p><p>"I wasn't a victim El, I was an accessory, an accomplice. I was-"</p><p>"No." His voice was firm, but laced with concern. "Look at me Olivia." He had tears in his eyes and shook his head.</p><p>"He killed her because he was after me."</p><p>"That doesn't make it your fault. Honey we see this everyday on the job. Every day. You were victimized, you suffered trauma Liv. He could've easily done to you what he did to Althea. He almost did." His voice cracked. "Is that what you're telling me? That it would have been better if you were the one in the morgue right now? If I was the one who had to go identify a body that had been found and was told it was my partner, the woman I loved more than anything?" She can see the guilt in his eyes now and is quick to comfort him.</p><p>"Elliot you got there in time."</p><p>"I shouldn't have left you in the first place. I had a weird feeling but I thought I was paranoid. I never should have left you alone. Never."</p><p>"You didn't know about Lester-"</p><p>"It doesn't matter. You're my partner. I'm supposed to protect you and I feel like I'm failing."</p><p>"You're not El. Why would you think that?"</p><p>"I took you out to dinner, to a public restaurant while a man was stalking you, then I left you alone at your apartment. We should've stayed at the precinct till White was caught."</p><p>"I went willingly, it's not like you kidnapped me and put me in danger El."</p><p>"I could've at least put a protective detail on you. You were left with no other protection."</p><p>" you're my protection Elliot. Always have been and always will be. I trust you with my life and you know I would've been pissed if you put a detail on me. You're all I need El."</p><p>"If I hadn't heard my phone ring-"</p><p>"Elliot if we live by what ifs we'll be miserable. You saved me. You comforted me, you held me. You protected me. You still are."</p><p>"I'd be a wreck if I lost you Olivia. Please don't blame yourself or think it should've been you anymore ok. Please." She still felt a bit of guilt, but for his sake she nodded and kissed him gently.</p><p>"I just...I wish there was something I could've done."</p><p>"I know and I wish we had known each other 10 years ago, I wish I could've saved you from all of this."</p><p>"We're gonna get him. It won't bring Althea back but it will keep him from hurting anyone else." Her voice was determined now. She wasn't Audine Higgs anymore. She was Olivia Benson and Olivia Benson didn't go down without fighting with everything she had.</p><p>"I'll kill him Liv. I mean it, he'll be dead for real this time. I'm gonna shoot until we're certain there's no pulse. I'm just going to prepare you now."</p><p>"Elliot, as much as he deserves it, you don't. You could lose your shield, end up in jail."</p><p>"But you'll be safe."</p><p>"I need you El. I need you with me. Not at Rikers. Please promise me you won't do anything that would change that." She replied sternly.</p><p>"I hate him for the torture and pain he's caused you."</p><p>"So do I. But I can't let him destroy us, I can't let him break the one thing in my life I can count on. Please." He kissed her forehead, and wrapped his arms around her tighter.</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>X</p><p>They got up and went to breakfast, then headed to a store for food and other basic necessities and by the time they got back to the beach house, it almost felt like just a vacation despite the grim reality.</p><p>Now they were taking a walk on the beach hand in hand. They had found a beach dress and swim trunks in the closet and Elliot had bought a small bag at the store to keep the burner phone and his gun in. Olivia almost wanted to roll her eyes at his overprotectiveness but she would never in a million years want to go through this alone so she just sighed and smiled and decided she would keep humoring him. She laughed when he stopped and twirled her around as they walked to the shore.</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>"You've never danced on a beach before?"</p><p>"What would you say if I told you this is the first one I've been to?" She took off her sandals and wrapped her arms around them as the water lapped at their feet.</p><p>"This is nice actually. Despite everything going on this is nice." She leaned her forehead against his and kissed him, allowing herself to relax for the first time since the terrifying night before and melt into her partner's embrace as he deepened the kiss.</p><p>"We'll make this our vacation house. Anytime we have off and need to get away." She leaned in and kissed him again when he smiled at her. She could spend days just looking at his smile and his calming blue eyes as his strong, protective arms locked around her securely. They heard the phone ring and Olivia groaned but didn't break their kiss, wanting to escape the frightening reality as long as she could.</p><p>"It's...Cragen...I...have...to...answer." Elliot got out between kisses even though he didn't want to stop either.</p><p>"Stabler." He gave Olivia one last kiss as Cragen spoke on the other line, but the words he heard made him pull away and his face morph into a mix of anger and concern. "When? Crap. I'll-I'll tell her. God does this guy ever sleep!? Thanks Cap. You guys too." He hung up and looked back at Olivia. His heart cracked at the news he would have to give her. She didn't deserve this. She deserved happiness, love, and safety. Not this.</p><p>"Did he find us?" Her voice was shaking.</p><p>"Come on sweetie, we should go back inside."</p><p>"Elliot just tell me! Please!" She was pale and he cupped her cheek in his hand.</p><p>"He found your mother."</p><p>"Oh god...I should've called her and warned her I-...is she?" She couldn't finish her sentence and he nodded grimly.</p><p>"Cap said Munch and Jeffries saw her at the hospital before she…" He swallowed unable to say the word 'died'. "She told them a man had come to her house and she freaked out because she didn't know him. She wasn't drunk but had opened a bottle and he asked if he could come inside. He had a gun so she let him. He asked her where you were and she said she didn't know. She said the last thing she remembered was telling him to pour her a drink and she'd tell him about you-"</p><p>"She was trying to save herself...trying to negotiate." Olivia shook her head, unable to believe any of this was happening."</p><p>"They think he put cyanide or something in her drink. She uh...she died 20 minutes ago." Silent tears made their way down her cheeks and Elliot pulled her into his arms.</p><p>"I ruined her life, I ruined her life when she found out she was pregnant with me and I ruined it every day since till she died."</p><p>"Liv-"</p><p>"Don't Elliot. Just don't." He said nothing and just kissed the top of her head. She was shaking, but he could tell she wasn't sure she should cry for the woman.</p><p>"I would never have met him if I hadn't wanted to get away from her Elliot. This is all my fault. All of it and nothing you can say will change that fact." She pushed lightly at his chest but he held her tight."</p><p>"You can let it out Olivia. It's alright."</p><p>"Who's next!? How many more till they find him and he's dead for real this time!? How many more people is he gonna take from me El? How long before he finds us!? How long before he finds us, kills you and tortures me before dumping me somewhere?"</p><p>"Olivia-" She rips out of his arms and runs back to the house.</p><p>"I'm here you son of a bitch! You happy now! I'm here! Do whatever you want to me, I don't care anymore just leave everyone alone! Leave my family alone! Leave my friends alone! Just...just le-" Elliot catches her as she collapses into sobs.</p><p>"It's just me Livia. He's not here. It's just me. I've got you. It's alright. I've got you. I'm here."</p><p>"We weren't close..but she-she didn't deserve this she didn't deserve-"</p><p>"I know honey. I know."</p><p>"Elliot I'm serious. You need to leave. The longer you stay with me the bigger chance something bad will happen to you-"</p><p>"I'm not going anywhere." He replied firm but calm tone.</p><p>"Damn it El! Don't you get it!? I'm a curse! Everyone I love gets hurt, everyone I try to be friends with gets hurt. Everyone who loves me either turns out to be a psychopathic abuser or gets killed and I can't...I can't lose you Elliot. But I-"</p><p>"Sweetheart I promised you-"</p><p>"I know, I know you did. But Elliot you have 4 kids that need their father-"</p><p>"You need me too."</p><p>"I do. But I have no right to have you. Not when this could all end in you lying in the morgue and having to tell your kids-"</p><p>"Liv, that's not going to happen."</p><p>"HOW DO YOU KNOW!?" She was screaming at him now. "You can't catch him Elliot. No one can. Protecting me from him will only result in your death. There's no way to win this."</p><p>"You think me losing you will be easier?"</p><p>"You'll find someone. Someone who makes you happy. Someone without all of my baggage and you'll-"</p><p>"No I won't. Because I'll spend the rest of my life comparing every single person to you and Olivia, baby, no one else measures up. Not in my eyes." She sobbed, wishing he wasn't so stubborn.</p><p>"Elliot if something happened to you-"</p><p>"It won't."</p><p>"You're not making this easy-"</p><p>"I love you Olivia. I can't just stop. I won't."</p><p>"What are we supposed to do?"</p><p>"We're gonna figure it out sweetheart. I promise." She finally lets him pull her into an embrace again and he sways them from side to side to comfort her, kissing her head gently.</p><p>"I'm scared." She snuggles closer and holds him tighter. "But not just for myself."</p><p>"I know honey, I know, but I won't leave your side. Not now, not ever."</p><p>"You better not. Cause I'm too attached El. I don't want to be without you. It's a dark and lonely world without you Stabler."</p><p>"I won't ever leave you alone. I'd make sure someone looked after you even if I couldn't." She sniffled and buried her face in his chest clinging to him.</p><p>"God I don't...I don't even wanna think about-"</p><p>"I know sweetie. I don't either." He leans down to kiss her tears away.</p><p>"I love you. No matter what happens I love you. You can lean on me, what ever you need. I love you."</p><p>"El I-" She sobs wishing this nightmare would be over.</p><p>"I love you. I know there's a lot of uncertainty right now but that's one thing you can count on ok?" She nods against his chest. "I love you so much Olivia. So much. I can't leave you because I'd be going out of my mind. You make me a better man-"</p><p>"When I'm not nearly getting you killed you mean?"</p><p>"Shhhh...it's alright. I know you're hurting sweetie but I love you. I need you to know that. I need you to trust that."</p><p>"I do Elliot. I always do."</p><p>"Ok. That's all that matters right now ok. We can get through this. As long as you know that, as long as we stay together we can get through this.</p><p>"I love you too El." She sniffled.</p><p>"Right now we're safe here. Cragen will let us know if we need to leave ok?"</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>"I'm not going to let anything happen to either one of us, and I will never leave your side or give up on you ok?"</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"I love you. You're my priority, you and my kids are my world. You're worth more to me than you'll ever know." They sit on the couch and he cradles her in his arms.</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"You said that."</p><p>"And I will keep saying it every day for the rest of our lives because it's not gonna change. Ever."</p><p>They are interrupted by the sound of a door opening.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Who could it be? Find out next time! Thanks for reading :)</p><p>I'm on my IPad, so I don't have the editing software I do on my desktop. But hopefully this is readable. Let me know if it's not.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Unexpectancies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: May contain mentions of abuse that might be triggering. Proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They freeze at the sound. Elliot, realizing it was the front door at the opposite end of the house stands slowly and takes the gun out of the bag, aiming it in front of him. They had gone out the sliding door in the bedroom to go down to the beach so they were still hidden from the intruder, but Elliot wasn't taking chances.</p><p>"El?" Her voice was shaking and barely above a whisper. They didn't hear any loud noises or threatening voices, just what sounded like someone in the kitchen putting groceries away or something.</p><p>"Stay behind me, baby." She kept her hands on his shoulders as he shielded her from sight and they walked slowly in the direction of the kitchen. A crash causes both of them to jump.</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"Shhhh." He cocked his gun and swung it in the direction of the kitchen, stepping one foot in while leaning against the wall, Olivia still behind him, sheltered by his broad shoulders.</p><p>"Police! Hands up!"</p><p>"Oh my goodness gracious!" Came an elderly female voice, the exact opposite of what the partners thought they'd hear. Elliot's eyes widened and he lowered the gun, stepping into the kitchen.</p><p>"Mom?" Elliot spoke in surprise and Olivia emerged from behind him standing to his side.</p><p>"Hi, Mrs. Stabler." It was almost funny how quick the mood had changed.</p><p>"Oh please dear, that was my mother in law, call me Bernie."</p><p>"Uh, mom no uh, no offense but why are you here?" Olivia elbowed him lightly.</p><p>"El." She warned.</p><p>"Oh, I was just cleaning out some old things I thought I'd store here for when you came for vacation. This must be Olivia." Elliot cleared his throat and Olivia stepped forward to shake the older woman's hand.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm Elliot's partner and uh-"</p><p>"I know hun, I'm so glad he got rid of Kathy, I never liked her. You are much prettier. You finally found a good one Elliot!"</p><p>"Yeah...I sure did." He looked adoringly at Olivia and smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist.</p><p>"What did you come up here for this weekend, where are the kids?"</p><p>"Just needed a vacation from work that's all."</p><p>"Oh Elliot I brought an old photo album from when you were little, you should show Olivia-"</p><p>"No no no no I definitely should not. Thank you, mom, have a safe trip home I'll call you."</p><p>"I would love to see it," Olivia replied, smirking at Elliot's nervous ramble.</p><p>"You can see it at the luncheon after my funeral." She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"But there can't be a funeral cause you said you wouldn't leave me." She pouted knowing he would give in and he shook his head and sighed. He couldn't say no to her.</p><p>"You can look at it when I'm not in the room."</p><p>"Thank you, baby." She smirked and pecked him on the lips.</p><p>"Well, I suppose I'll get going. You kids have fun." Bernie picked up her purse and headed for the door.</p><p>"It was nice meeting you."</p><p>"You too dear, take care of my boy for me."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>"Oh Elliot, I left some cookies in the fridge so you guys can help yourselves, especially if you're planning to make me another grandbaby...there's plenty to eat for 3." Bernie chuckled and Elliot and Olivia visibly blushed at her comment.</p><p>"Well...that was...umm" Elliot stuttered after Bernie had left.</p><p>"An awkward but welcome distraction. You ok El?" Olivia knew his childhood had been rough. He didn't talk about it much and she had never pressed him on it, just promised him she was there like he did for her.</p><p>"I will be." She turned to face him and took in his appearance, guilt running through her veins. He looked drained and stressed. A combination of deep worry for her and resurfacing feelings seeing his mother again. His 'Stabler smile' didn't quite reach his eyes, which had bags under them, telling her that he hadn't slept as good as she had. He had likely been up throughout the night watching over her, protecting her. He probably hadn't slept much at all that week. He looked like he had aged about 10 years. He still smelled like Elliot but hadn't showered or done anything that would cause him to be away from her even in a different room besides use the toilet, and even then he left the door ajar in case he heard something. She had leaned on him too hard. She had been so scared and clingy that she hadn't even thought about the toll the situation would have on Elliot. She thought of Bernie's words 'take care of my boy'. She was supposed to be his partner, and yet she had thrown all her baggage on him and expected him to carry it. But now, as she looked at him, as she looked at the man who meant everything to her she realized her rock had weathered. While she had been feeling comfort and safety and was event blissfully happy that morning, he was visibly decaying before her eyes. He had been so strong for her, and it made her feel like a horrible person. She put a hand on his chest and kissed his forehead, nose, and cheeks before giving him a loving kiss on the lips.</p><p>"I love you." She kissed the stubble on his chin. "I really do." She kissed the bags under his eyes. "More than anything."</p><p>"I love you too sweetheart."</p><p>"Baby if you need to talk about anything I'm here. Everything you've told me goes for you too I know that...had to have been hard. To see your mother for the first time in-"</p><p>"6 years. I really hadn't expected that we'd run into her or I would've-"</p><p>"Elliot meeting your mother isn't going to change how I feel about you any more than you meeting mine changed how you feel about me." He shook his head in frustration.</p><p>"Talk to me El."</p><p>"She just-she just comes in here and acts like everything's normal. Like we're just one big happy family she doesn't even-"</p><p>"She's sick El, but I can see that she loves you and she's trying now. " He scoffed.</p><p>"Well, it sure didn't feel like it when she let my dad beat me or when she nearly got us killed driving through a snowstorm or when she nearly shot me with my dad's gun when I came into the room while they were arguing. Is that love Liv!? Is it!? Who the hell does she think she is...you know I didn't, I never wanted you to meet her. Hell I never wanted my kids or Kathy to meet her but she just keeps sneaking into my life and I can't….How many reminders do I need of what a screw up I am!"</p><p>"You are NOT a screwup."</p><p>"Aren't I? You know I have 3 brothers who you've never met and probably never will cause they hate me. They were always good, strong men to my dad...I was a failure, a mistake. Did I ever tell you how my dad died? Shot himself, in the bedroom one day while I was home from training. The whole family blames me saying I should've stopped him somehow. But how was I supposed to know he'd eat his gun?" There were tears in his eyes.</p><p>"Let it out El. It's alright." She repeated the words of comfort he had said to her earlier.</p><p>"My brothers haven't spoken to me in 15 years cause his death was my fault. He shot himself cause he couldn't stand to have such a wuss for a son and his wife was crazy and didn't take her meds. I packed my bags and went back to the marine base, didn't even leave a note. No one would have freaking cared." She rubbed his back as she held his head to her chest and kissed the top of it lightly. "My mom though, she wants to act like nothing happened and that I just don't want to see her but I don't have a valid reason for it. That's probably why she wanted you to see that photo album, she wants to convince you of her warped fantasy of the way things were."</p><p>"I would never take her word over yours Elliot. I'm sorry I didn't realize what was going on. I won't look honey." Elliot studies her for a moment.</p><p>"You need a distraction Liv, I get that. You can look if you want just..ignore anything she might have written in it ok."</p><p>"I promise. Baby why don't you go shower and rest for a bit you got a lot off your chest today."</p><p>"I'll be fine." The defeated look and his bloodshot eyes told her otherwise and broke her heart.</p><p>"El-"</p><p>"I need to protect you Liv, even if that's the only thing I'm good at."</p><p>"You are an amazing man. I don't care what anyone says. You're an amazing partner, father, boyfriend, cop, you name it. The only flaw I see is that you don't always take care of yourself in the process. Some of that is my fault I've been putting all my baggage on you without seeing how it affects you and I'm sorry-"</p><p>"Honey-"</p><p>"Elliot you haven't slept through the night in days cause you've been worried about me. You just had a heavy, emotional afternoon that just resurfaced some traumatic memories. You need a break, you need time for yourself." He lets out a stress-filled sigh and she rests her forehead against his. "We're 4 hours away from the city, our squad is looking everywhere for Lester and he has no idea where we are. You'll just be in the other room. You'd hear if something happened. Please, it breaks my heart to see you like this." He gives her a hesitant look and glances at the door, worried that the minute he isn't right by her side someone will burst in and take her from him.</p><p>"You promise you'll yell or come get me if you need something?"</p><p>"Of course I will." She kisses him gently for reassurance."I love you."</p><p>"I love you too sweetie." He presses a lingering kiss to her forehead before heading down the hall. She hears the shower start and notes that despite everything, he left the door ajar again in case she needed him. Here he was, exhausted, drained, stressed, and wounded by his mother's sudden appearance and yet she was still his priority. He was still taking care of her and protecting her. His dad couldn't have been more wrong about him. Elliot was the strongest man she knew and she vowed to remind him of that every day she knew him.</p><p>X</p><p>The photo album was resting on the kitchen table and she decided to take a look. Like Elliot had said, it was a distraction and she needed one. She wasn't sure how to feel about the death of her mother, 10 years ago she may have been relieved, now she just felt guilty.</p><p>Despite everything weighing on her at that moment, she couldn't hold back the smile as she looked through pictures of her partner's younger years. As she turned the page and found herself giggling at one in particular, him in a carrot costume, she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist and light kisses on her neck. It was funny how even though she and Elliot had only known each other for a year and a half, she knew it was him immediately and relaxed into his hold as he knelt down to the chair she was sitting in and embraced her.</p><p>"You were so cute." She stands so he can sit in the chair and she can sit in his lap.</p><p>"Was? What am I now?" He teased and she smirked.</p><p>"Eh." She laughed when he started tickling her. "Ok ok, I give."</p><p>"What was that Detective Benson?" He kisses her before she can respond. She smiles into the kiss and breathes in his freshly clean scent.</p><p>"Well, Detective you're not so much cute anymore."</p><p>"No?" He pouts and she laughs, kissing him again.</p><p>"Mmm no, I think you graduated." She runs her hands along the muscles in his biceps that are showing through the muscle shirt he's wearing, one of her very favorite things of his.</p><p>"Graduated huh?" He chuckles and kisses her earlobe.</p><p>"Mmhm to handsome, sexy, you know all the good stuff."</p><p>"Yeah? But still a liiittle cute too right?" She laughs.</p><p>"Definitely." She turns in her seat to wrap her arms around his neck and rest her forehead against his. "So why'd you dressup as a carrot?"</p><p>"Oh come on Liv, way to ruin the romantic mood."</p><p>"I wanna know...plllleeease." She pouts and he groans but kisses her softly.</p><p>"You know I can't say no to you."</p><p>"I plan to milk that for all its worth." She teased. "Ok Stabler, carrot story."</p><p>"This a fantasy of yours or something?"</p><p>"Depends on what the story is."</p><p>"Wow. Ok well, it was for a Thanksgiving pageant in 5th grade."</p><p>"Carrots are a Thanksgiving thing?"</p><p>"Shhhh you asked me to tell the story."</p><p>"I know I know go on."</p><p>"Anyway I wanted to be someone cool like a pilgrim or something but my mom got the date wrong for me to sign up for the part, so all that was left were food costumes."</p><p>"So why a carrot? Why not a turkey or something?"</p><p>"Ignoring the fact that you think I should have been killed and eaten-" He smirked.</p><p>"Nooo, I'd miss you too much."</p><p>"Uh huh."</p><p>"I would. You keep the monsters away." He kissed her temple comfortingly, knowing that despite the lighthearted mood there was some seriousness to her statement. He really did keep her monsters away, both on the outside and the inside. He was the best source of comfort, safety, and love she had ever had.</p><p>"Anyway my mom was way too excited to make me a carrot costume, so that happened. I'm not proud of it."</p><p>"Well, I think you look adorable."</p><p>"Not nearly as adorable as you probably would have. You realize this means I get to look at old photos of you now right?"</p><p>"Ugh. Great." They're silent for a few moments and she relaxes in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder.</p><p>"You have a good shower?"</p><p>"That you're way of telling me I smell better?" She giggles and buries her face in his neck as if she's inspecting his smell.</p><p>"You smell like you. It's that Elliot Stabler smell that I love."</p><p>"Yeah? Maybe I should start my own cologne brand." She laughs.</p><p>"I am way too good for your ego."</p><p>"Depends, you've bruised it before."</p><p>"Someone's gotta keep you balanced."</p><p>"I didn't take a nap though, had to come back out and check on you. I can't sleep when you're not next to me anyway." She almost makes another sarcastic comment, but as she looks at the man in front of her, her heart swells with love and affection for him. They could both use some relaxation and love after everything they've gone through in the past 36 or so hours.</p><p>"I've got a better idea." She leans in and kisses him. "Make love to me El."</p><p>"You never have to ask me twice." He carries her back into the bedroom, and at that moment, nothing else mattered. The partners loved each other gently, both oblivious to the alarming message they've received on the phone and the impending danger heading their way. The message went unseen as they dozed off in each other's embrace afterward. Multiple messages piled up afterward as the phone lay in the bag. Neither partner was focused on anything except each other's heartbeats.</p><p>Neither would know anything was going on for hours until they were awakened by the feeling of a cold metal object and a chilling voice.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Nice little fluffy chapter until...crap. See y'all next chapter and thanks for reading?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Monster</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: these next few chapters may be especially triggering as it deals with abuse and abduction. They would likely be considered an M rating or at least high T. proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something felt different. There was a chill running through her spine and she couldn't understand why she didn't have the feeling of bliss she normally did when she woke up entangled in Elliot's arms after they had made love. The usual feeling of safety and warmth was replaced with something else...something sinister. She squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered, burying herself further into Elliot's embrace, wanting the feeling to go away. He instinctively held her tighter, likely assuming she was having a nightmare.</p><p>Her heart stopped when something cold was pressed against her cheek and she heard a chilling voice that definitely did not belong to the man holding her.</p><p>Her eyes popped open in fear and the object she now recognized as her own gun was shoved into her mouth.</p><p>"Make one sound and he's dead." She realized in horror that the source of her nightmares for the past 10 years was in the bedroom and had not only her gun but had grabbed Elliot's and aimed it at his head.</p><p>She was frozen. She was terrified. She had to find a way out of this situation without waking Elliot, who would no doubt do whatever it took to protect her at the risk of his own life.</p><p>"Get out of the bed and get some clothes on, make sure he doesn't wake up." Trembling like a leaf and trying to look anywhere but at the monster holding her own weapon to her head, she tried to wiggle her way out of Elliot's protective embrace without alerting him that they were in danger.</p><p>He stirred. His arms were wrapped around her securely, his leg entangled with hers. There was no way she could follow Lester's orders without waking Elliot. If nothing else, he would likely notice how badly she was shaking and wake up to comfort her.</p><p>The only thing more terrifying than being forced from his arms was the thought of what would happen to him if he woke up in the process.</p><p>"I'm losing patience Audine." His whisper was chilling and she tried but failed to bite back a whimper.</p><p>"Livia? what's wrong baby?" She shook her head vigorously, trying to shield Elliot from Lester's view. He hadn't opened his eyes yet but was reaching across the bed trying to pull her back into his arms. That was how connected they were. He didn't even need to be awake to know she was in trouble.</p><p>The next thing she knows she's being grabbed by the throat and hot breath on her ear. "Tell him it's nothing. Tell him to go back to sleep. Tell him you're fine or I'll put a bullet in his skull while you watch." Tears were spilling from her eyes as she tried not to sob. Elliot would see right through that. He knew her. If she was going to protect him she needed to hurry and think of a plan because there was no way Elliot Stabler would stay asleep knowing something was frightening the woman he loved. Even if it had just been a nightmare. She leaned down to whisper in his ear and a tear fell on his shoulder.</p><p>"I'm ok El. G-go back to sleep." He reached his hand to cup her cheek and she cursed herself for not wiping her tears.</p><p>Brown eyes met blue.</p><p>"Honey, what's the matter? What is it? Nightmare?" As much as she needed to get away from him to protect him, his voice was so soft and tender that she wanted to hide in his embrace as he shielded her. "Come here, sweetie. It's alright. I'm here, my love. I'm here." He's only focusing on her, and she's too terrified to speak so she knows he doesn't notice Lester yet and is comforting her the way he would after a nightmare. "Just a dream baby. Just a dream. You're safe. It's just me. Just your El." He cradles her head on his shoulder, wraps her back into his arms, and kisses her hair lightly as she shakes against him. His sweet whispers of comfort are stalled when they hear a gun cock and press against his temple.</p><p>"Very touching last words Detective Stabler." Olivia clung tighter to Elliot whose eyes widened in recognition of what was going on.</p><p>"What do you want?" He growled, positioning Olivia beneath him so he could shield her body with his.</p><p>"She tell you who I was?" He laughed menacingly</p><p>"Oh I know who you are, and you're not touching her." She focuses on the lines of his chest, the veins bulging in his neck, the tensing of his muscles as he maintained a protective stance over her, anything to keep from looking at the other man, the one who was supposed to have been dead.</p><p>"That's not up to you detective. She belongs to me and needs to learn her lesson."</p><p>"Pretty bold move holding two cops at gunpoint. You realize you'll go on death row when our squad finds you. In fact, they might not even give you that luxury. They might just shoot you upon sight." His laugh causes another whimper from Olivia, who's too scared to scream.</p><p>"They already tried that, didn't work. See I faked my death and snuck out of the hospital. They've been looking for me for 10 years. They ain't gonna find me. She's gonna be mine one way or another stabler. You can hand her over easily and go back home without a single bruise or your wimp of a 'partner' here can watch you bleed to death."</p><p>"I guess you'll have to kill me then cause I'm not letting you touch her." Elliot himself was shaking with anger and worry when he saw both guns being pointed at him, finger on the triggers.</p><p>"NO NO NO NOOOO NO PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING." Olivia was sobbing hysterically and wrapped herself around Elliot so they were both sheltering each other.</p><p>"You know maybe killing you and taking her would be too easy, too boring. I'll change methods a bit. Get up, both of you."</p><p>"Why do you need both-"</p><p>"YOU DON'T ASK QUESTIONS AUDINE! Did you forget that sweetheart?" She whimpers at his voice and clings tighter to Elliot, who speaks up, wanting to protect her from any more trauma as much as possible.</p><p>"Ok. Ok, you know what...none of us need to get hurt here ok? You're in charge. I can keep her calm ok just-" Elliot swallows hard. "Let me hold her. She'll stay quiet if she knows I'll protect her." His cop instincts kick in and he tries to negotiate, moving slowly while continuing to shield Olivia from sight.</p><p>"El."</p><p>"Shhh, it's gonna be ok baby. It's gonna be ok." He leans down to whisper in her ear, quiet enough so Lester can't hear. "I'm not gonna let him touch you. I'm gonna get us out of this ok. I promise you."</p><p>"Y'all sure are slow when it comes to followin' orders. Why don't I help Audine and you-"</p><p>"I'm not leaving her. That's not part of the deal." He picks up his t-shirt off the floor and the sweats Olivia had been wearing.</p><p>"Here honey." He slowly helps her put them on and grabs his boxers. He doesn't bother looking for anything else, Olivia's safety and comfort matter more.</p><p>"Elliot-"</p><p>"Shhh come here, sweetie." He scoops her in his arms and holds her close to his chest as he carries her bridal style. It would be romantic if a madman wasn't following them with their own guns aimed at Elliot's back. She buried her face in the crook of Elliot's neck and clung to him, wishing she could do something. Wishing she wasn't so scared. In his arms was the only place she felt safe at the moment, god forbid if something happened to him.</p><p>"Out to the car and don't make a sound."</p><p>Elliot felt like a monster himself, carrying a trembling, terrified Olivia to whatever they were about to endure.</p><p>"Ok...now put her down. She sits with me and you get in the back."</p><p>"NO!" She gripped onto Elliot so tight it was a wonder she didn't draw blood.</p><p>"Shut your girlfriend up Stabler."</p><p>"She's scared Lester, she needs me."</p><p>"Isn't that sweet? God, you're pathetic. A cop that's terrified to be away from her boyfriend. Like a little girl crying for mommy. I always knew you were weak."</p><p>Elliot wanted nothing more than to strangle the bastard with his bare hands, but he had to protect Olivia. He had to keep this monster from getting his hands on her.</p><p>"Lester listen to me, ok, I'm a cop. If she sits up there with you. As terrified as she looks right now people are gonna notice. Someone might get suspicious."</p><p>"Oh she won't be making a sound-" He makes a step towards them and Elliot jerks back, holding Olivia tighter.</p><p>"You want her out of sight? Right? Hidden? That'll be a lot easier if she's in the back with me. I can keep her calm-"</p><p>"I don't like sharing my property." Lester snarled and Elliot swallowed the bile in his throat. "But I do need her quiet. Fine, keep her in the back." He leans down to Olivia's ear, breathing on her neck as Elliot backs into the car, unable to shield her any further. "But we'll be spending time together soon." She shrieks when he kisses her temple and her grip on Elliot is so tight it's beginning to hurt but he doesn't care because it's nowhere near the pain he'd feel if something happened to her.</p><p>"Don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me." She sobbed as Elliot loosened his grip on her to put her down so he could get in the car first and pull her into his lap.</p><p>"Why you cryin for him Audine? I'm all you need." She tried to block out his voice and focus on Elliot's, who was coaxing her into the car, back into his arms. She settled onto his lap and hid her face in his neck.</p><p>"Just ignore him, baby. I've got you. I won't let him hurt you." He whispers soothingly in her ear and kisses her temple. An action she desperately needed after Lester's threat. She needed Elliot's loving touch, his soothing voice and gentle kiss to cleanse the filth she felt at the fact that Lester was even that close to her whether he touched her or not.</p><p>"Elliot." She sobbed, his voice coming out as a plea of terror.</p><p>"Shhh, I'm gonna get us out of this. I don't know how but I'll find a way. I'll protect you no matter what Livia. No matter what."</p><p>"I'm scared." He'd be lying if he said he wasn't too, he was terrified, but he couldn't show it. He had to keep her safe.</p><p>"Just focus on me, baby. I love you. I won't let anything happen to you." She couldn't respond, just cried against him as he held her tight. The car was filled with silence for a few minutes. Then, Olivia sniffled and spoke up, still cuddled into Elliot's chest.</p><p>"W-where are you taking us?"</p><p>"You don't get it, do you? Your boyfriend does but you're still a stupid-"</p><p>"Hey! It was a simple question!" Elliot growled.</p><p>"I'm taking you where no one will hear your screams. How's that?"</p><p>"El." She whimpered and more tears poured from her eyes.</p><p>"How'd you find us you creep?" Elliot snarled and both partners jumped when the man in the front seat laughed darkly.</p><p>"Y'all don't think I have connections up here? You two have made a lot of enemies which is expected because you're cops but man Stabler, kinda sad that your own brother hates you ain't it?"</p><p>'How do you know my brothers?" The sicko laughed again.</p><p>"Remember my note, your last perp Mr. 'No hard feelings' gave me some valuable information. He had a file on you, Detective Stabler. Beautiful kids and ex-wife you have, shame you threw all that away for this trash."</p><p>"You don't get to talk about my family or my Liv that way you sick son of a-"</p><p>"Your Liv! Her name's Audine and she's mine."</p><p>"What is this 3rd grade? She's not property. She's a person. She's my world and I promised her I would do anything to keep her safe especially from scum like you!"</p><p>"Anyway I found out you had a mom and three brothers but your relationships with them is a bit..rocky."</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>"I called them El" He taunted using Olivia's nickname for Elliot. "First two went to voicemail but uh...Matt is it? He was all too willing to help out. Mentioned this cottage y'all used to go to in the summer and suggested I look there. Didn't even ask who I was or why I was calling. I'll have to thank him later...after I teach Audine a lesson about betrayal." He cracked his knuckles and Olivia whimpered again, shrinking into Elliot.</p><p>"Stop calling me that." Her voice was small but she tried as hard as she could to keep it from shaking.</p><p>"You don't make the orders Audine. Did you forget I'm the one with the weapons? I can end you and your precious partner's life in a split second if I wanted to."</p><p>"She thought you were dead Lester. How is that betraying you? What was she supposed to do?"</p><p>"She's the one that went and cried to the cops...you know what. I'm sick of hearing from you too. Keep your mouth shut or I'll shoot you and make your girlfriend's punishments 10 times worse than already planned."</p><p>"If you touch a single hair on her head I will kill you."</p><p>"Does your boyfriend have a death wish Audine?"</p><p>"Please don't hurt him." She sobbed.</p><p>"Will you stop crying? God, you're just as much a waste of air as you were 10 years ago. I should have just killed you off."</p><p>Elliot's about to retort but Olivia shakes her head and buries her face in his neck sobbing, too tired and too scared to fight back anymore tonight. "Just hold me El. Please just hold me. I don't want to listen to him anymore. Just hold me."</p><p>"Might as well El." Lester snickered. "Might be the last time you ever get to."</p><p>A particularly loud sob escaped Olivia's chest.</p><p>"Elliot." His name seemed to be the only thing she could say at that moment and she felt a sliver of comfort. He was here. He'd protect her. She was also terrified for that same reason because of what Lester could do to the man she loved. If she lost Elliot, she wasn't sure she'd want to go on in the world.</p><p>Elliot kissed her tears and wrapped his arms around her tightly, unsure what to say at that moment, unsure how to soothe her when he couldn't even soothe himself. All he could do was hold her and do his best to shelter her from harm as they were driven to what was possibly the end for both of them. He whispered quiet nothings in her ear, reminding her that he was there and she wasn't going through this alone. His heart broke for her. He had never seen her so scared. She cried and shook against him and the only comfort he could give her was his presence and reminders that he loved her and would protect her.</p><p>"You are my sunshine...my only sunshine…" The melody had snuck in his head, one he had often sung to his children when they'd have nightmares. He whispered the tune in her ear, hoping to soothe her just a little. "You'll never know dear how much I love you-" The car took a sharp turn on an old, isolated looking road and his blood ran cold with fear about the moments to come and only one thought on both their minds.</p><p>"Please don't take my sunshine away."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Happy early Halloween!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: these next few chapters may be especially triggering as they deal with abuse and abduction. They would likely be considered an M rating or at least high T. proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The car came to a stop outside what looked like an abandoned barn or warehouse of some sort that had to have been built about 50 years ago. Olivia was huddled against Elliot as she sat in his lap and he held her tight.</p><p>"Please don't let him take me El, please." She whispered shakily.</p><p>"I'm not letting go, baby. I'll get us out of this and we'll find a way to call Cap and-" He's cut off by the doors opening and a gun is pressed against Olivia's head. Equally horrifying is another gun being aimed at Elliot from the other side of the car by none other than Elliot's brother Matt Stabler.</p><p>"Say your goodbyes and get out of the car."</p><p>"You're not taking her! You're not touching her! Either of you!" Elliot growled.</p><p>Olivia was pretty sure Lester's laughter would haunt her for the rest of her life.</p><p>"Oh your brother won't be doing anything with Audine, I don't share remember? He's only here to deal with you." She shivered and tightened her grip on Elliot.</p><p>"Matt...you're making a mistake, I'm the one you're mad at. Don't take this out on her. Please." Elliot tried to reason with his brother.</p><p>"You think I care about that whiny trash?"</p><p>"I think you care about not going to jail. You're better than this. You want revenge on me, find the other way to do it but this? An accomplice to a serial killer and abuser? You really want to be responsible for helping a guy beat and torture a woman to death? Think about this Matt...this isn't you."</p><p>"Says who?"</p><p>"Matt you can break your brother later. I need these two out of the car." He leaned down to whisper in Olivia's ear and she was pretty sure her heart stopped beating when he stroked her hair. "So I can have this one all to myself."</p><p>"Over my dead body!" Elliot snarled.</p><p>"That a request?" He snickered.</p><p>"No no no no no please." She sobbed, more worried about Elliot's safety than her own.</p><p>"We'll leave that up to Matt sweetie." Lester mocked using a pet name Elliot often used with Olivia and it made her feel sick hearing it come from someone other than him. She turns to the other man.</p><p>"Matt...he's your brother. You might be upset with him but I need him. Please. Your parents wouldn't want you to do this."</p><p>"My dad never got the chance cause your boyfriend here killed him. He's not my brother. I don't care if he's related or not."</p><p>"ENOUGH!" The partners jumped at Lester's voice. "I'm getting impatient Audine." His lips brushed against her neck and she whimpered.</p><p>"My name's Olivia...not Audine." She tried to make her voice strong but couldn't keep the shakiness out of it.</p><p>"You're mine. I'll call you what I want to." Elliot decided to change tactics.</p><p>"You think she's stayed loyal to you? What makes you think she's still yours?"</p><p>"Oh, she will be when I'm done with her."</p><p>"Don't you remember how you found us? You seem like a smart man. What do you think we did last night huh? She's mine now has been for a year and a half." He kissed a spot behind her ear, gently to not cause pain, but still trying to look possessive to the man trying to take her. She moaned. "You couldn't ever have that effect on her, could you? But with me?" He kissed her deeply right in front of them and she allowed herself to melt into the kiss, surprised by his bold move, but knowing it was to save them both. "All mine...right baby?" He kissed her jawline and her neck, giving special attention to her pulse point softly to 'mark his territory'. She ran a hand up his chest, playing along. "All yours El...all yours." He kissed her earlobe and whispered in her ear. "I love you. No matter what happens tonight." He nipped at her ear, not wanting to look as worried as he felt. "Elliot." She purred and for a few seconds forgot the situation they were in.</p><p>"You don't get it. She's not allowed to have anyone else, I own her and I'll break her of this insanity."</p><p>"You think you own her? You can't break what we have. You baited her as a vulnerable waitress, I got her when she was a cop. Pretty bold huh? She was mine the second our Captain introduced us as partners. No one can compete with this. Tell him, baby, tell him how our first time was in the squad car on a stakeout and how lucky we were that our Captain didn't hear us since he was in the bathroom when we forgot to turn off the radio. Tell him how quickly and how many times I got you to say my name? Tell him how you didn't have time to shower and still smelled like me the next morning. Tell him how you-" That wasn't actually completely false. Their first time was at his apartment, not in their squad car but the other stuff…damnit el...she knew he was doing this to try and get Lester to give up but cursed her body for reacting to his words when they were being held at gunpoint by a serial killer.</p><p>"We'll see how long she holds onto that when I kill you."</p><p>"She'd still want me. She'll want me for the rest of her life."</p><p>"Well dad was wrong about one thing, you know how to handle a woman," Matt spoke up and Elliot wanted to puke. He knew he was acting to protect Olivia, but he hated the words coming out of his mouth and how possessive he sounded. He wanted Olivia to feel loved, not controlled. I'm so sorry. He communicated to her through his eyes. You're not doing anything wrong. She tried to communicate back. She turned to Lester, determined to show Elliot that he hadn't upset her.</p><p>"He's right. I'll always be his. No matter what you do to me." Her voice was stronger than it had been earlier and it was amazing how her tears seemed to stop as she took in Elliot's words. Elliot had never been possessive of her in a controlling/demeaning way. He was protective. He was loving. He was nurturing. He took care of her and sheltered her and supported her. She had only been with two men in her life. Lester, who had cheapened her and Elliot, who had cleansed her of the filth and pain Lester had left on her. He had washed away her wounds. So while Elliot Stabler had never claimed he owned her and treated her like an object of possession the way Lester had, she still considered herself his and it was something she took comfort in. It was something that made her feel strong enough to stand up to the monster holding them hostage. Because she was no longer weak, naive, vulnerable, submissive Audine Higgs who had been baited, possessed and abused by Lester Sproles; she was Olivia Benson. Detective Olivia Benson to be exact. A bad-ass, strong, capable woman who had caught the eye and stolen the heart of the man who was assigned as her partner in crime. She wasn't a slave to Lester Sproles anymore, she was the partner, other half and love of Elliot Stabler's life. That was who she was, and no one was going to weaken her, cheapen that identity or steal it from her. Audine Higgs bowed down to Lester, Olivia Benson doesn't let anyone tell her so much as where to get her coffee from. Olivia Benson didn't back down. Olivia Benson didn't give in. Olivia Benson wasn't giving this monster any satisfaction without a fight. And when Olivia Benson fought, she fought like hell...and anyone challenging her or threatening someone she loved better be prepared. She narrowed her eyes at the man who had haunted her for so long.</p><p>"Lester I may have been weak 10 years ago, but I'm not that little girl anymore. I've got a whole squad behind me and believe me, they will find you and when they do you're gonna wish you'd fled to Canada and changed your name to Steven and became an accountant because the NYPD doesn't take to well to someone hurting one of their own...so what do you think is gonna happen when they realize you've got two of their own. Let me and my partner go, if you cooperate it'll look better to the judge and you might get out on parole when you're 80 if you live that long. Right now though, you're looking at life which will get increased to death row if one of us is hurt or killed. You don't think we've dealt with perps like you before?" Elliot notices a southern accent beginning to drip into her tone. She's pissed, she's daring, she's got her interrogation stance on. Lester laughed but this time Olivia barely flinched.</p><p>"You're nothing without that partner of yours." She locks eyes with Elliot and they instantly think of a plan. Her next words shock all 3 of the men surrounding her.</p><p>"You think our relationship is always like this? This guy drives me insane! Sure he's loving sometimes but he can be a real ass. You think he's never tossed me around? Gotten rough with me? Shoved me up against the lockers? Made me-"</p><p>"Olivia!" Elliot exclaims shocked and she gives him a look of 'just go with it'</p><p>"One of our colleagues asked me out once before we were together and this guy." She points at Elliot but continues to glare at Lester. "Beat the crap out of him in the interrogation room and told him I was off limits, then demanded that he was driving me home and stood outside my door all night to ward off any visitors. He's a psycho!"</p><p>"Takes after our dad." Matt snickers and Olivia glares at him in a way that makes him back up slightly. "You really want this guy as your partner in crime Lester? He just backed up cause he got glared at by a woman. Not much of a man are you Matt?" She mocked, remembering the way Elliot's father and brothers had treated him for not being as 'masculine' as they thought he should be. Matt looked angry but slightly nervous and gulped, Lester looked pissed, Elliot looked proud.</p><p>"You've gotten some balls Audine, I gotta say."</p><p>"More than you've ever had huh? You have to prey on the vulnerable cause no one actually wants you. That's kinda sad honestly."</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>"Did I hit a nerve? I didn't think you had those either!" She mocks surprise. "Now why don't you let us go and get out of here...and take your friend here before he pees his pants and cries for mommy, who by the way has a photo album just for Elliot. I didn't see any pictures of you in there Matt, I think maybe you were the forgotten child."</p><p>Why didn't I marry this woman already? Elliot thought as he heard her rip into his brother and her psycho ex at once. She had gone from shaking in his arms to full-on interrogation mode, staring the other men down, kicking ass and taking names.</p><p>"Who taught you you could talk to a guy like that? You don't make the orders Audine."</p><p>"I don't take orders from scum, I scrape it off my shoes at the end of the day." Elliot's protective instincts caused him to wrap his arms tighter around her waist, worried that Lester would snap and hurt her. Olivia couldn't keep the shiver of fear from going down her spine when she felt Lester's breath on his neck when he spoke threateningly in her ear.</p><p>"I will break you in ways you didn't know were possible. I will make you mine again." She didn't know what in her made her think her next move was a good idea, but as he pulled back she spits in his face. He moved to slap her but Elliot was quick to grab his wrist and twist it enough to make him cry out in pain. He stared them down, with a look that nearly made Olivia whimper again but she had to stand her ground.</p><p>"What? You giving up?" She snarled. That was the wrong choice of words. She didn't know which of the men fired first, but the next thing she knew Elliot's arms were no longer around her and he was groaning in pain, his shoulder and side bleeding from what looked like at least 2 bullet wounds.</p><p>"ELLIOT!" She sobbed, terrified for his life. Hands reached for her, attempting to remove her from his lap.</p><p>"NOOOO! NO, NO NO PLEASE." But being shot was nothing compared to the pain of watching the woman he loved scream and beg the monster not to take her from his arms while he bled in the back of the car. Lester Sproles was a really stupid man if he thought a gunshot wound was enough to keep Elliot Stabler from protecting his partner. Using every ounce of strength he had on his uninjured side, he grabbed ahold of Olivia's waist and yanked her back in the car. He cursed himself for being rough with her and causing her to hit her head on the ceiling in the process, but he had to keep her safe. He managed to position her between his legs and wrapped his strong legs around hers tightly, as his arms had been moments before, barricading her in a cocoon of protection as his uninjured arm locked around her waist. He was still bleeding and the clothes she was wearing as well as the seat she sat on was soaked in blood, but he was determined to protect her until the last drop left his body.</p><p>"I guess we're gonna have to kill your brother Matt, it's the only way I can get Audine." It happened so fast, Matt stuck the hand with the gun Olivia recognized as Elliot's inside the car and pressed it against Elliot's temple. Elliot, unable to defend himself without letting go of Olivia whispered a shaky "I love you" in her ear, worried it would be the last time he would ever get to say it. At those words, Olivia turned to Matt and the minute she saw his finger on the trigger she lifted her head and bit his arm as hard as she possibly could, causing him to howl in pain...and drop the gun into her lap. In an instant, before either man could say anything she had the gun aimed at Matt and fired 3 times, he fell to the ground, slack and unmoving. She then turned the gun on Lester who smirked at her.</p><p>"What are you gonna do shoot me? Go ahead, see if I don't kill your precious boyfriend in the process. He's lost a lot of blood Audine. The color is draining from his face and he can't even move that one side. Won't be long before he's unconscious. Who will protect you when he dies? You'll be all alone and at my mercy. You give up yet?" She smirked back.</p><p>"Nope." Before he could react she shot the hand he was holding her gun in, causing him to drop it at Elliot's feet. He howled in pain and before she could react he grabbed her by the neck, causing her to nearly drop Elliot's gun as she gasped for air and tried not to sob at the pain. Elliot was seeing red.</p><p>"Get your hands off her you filthy animal." He growled.</p><p>"Or what? I'm not gonna kill her yet, I just wanna choke her a little to shut her up. Not like you can do anything about it, you're gonna die while holding her, what a way to go." He let go of her neck and trailed a hand down her shaking body possessively as Elliot moved his foot slightly to reach for her gun that had fallen on the floor. He grabbed it with his foot and brushed against Olivia's leg so she could help him reach it. She's squirmed under Lester's touch, whose hand was inching its way up her shirt. Shakily, she gripped the gun and placed it in Elliot's uninjured hand. Elliot gripped it and shoved it against Lester's temple as hard as he could, causing him to stumble back slightly and remove his hand from Olivia. In a tone angrier than she had ever heard Elliot speak in before he growled.</p><p>"No one hurts my Liv and gets away with it." A sharp pain shoots through his arm and the hand holding the gun to Lester's head trembles. The creep smirked.</p><p>"Whoops. Those basic functions are getting hard with all that blood loss, aren't they? How much longer do you reckon he's got left Audine? Come on shoot me! You think you've still got fight in you, Stabler? Pull the trigger! Pull it before I have my hands all over your precious Olivia. Better save her while you still can."</p><p>"El please." She sobbed. His hand drops and she notices how pale his body looks. She's losing him. The pain is so intense he can only hear muffled voices, his upper body is too numb to hold onto Olivia, making him defenseless to protect her. Lester grabs the back of her neck and jerks her head to the side, his voice taunting in her ear as he forces her to look at the state Elliot is in.</p><p>"He can't even lift his arms anymore and look at his eyes. Notice how the light is fading from them. You think he can even hear you? He's in so much pain that you're the last thing on his mind right now. Look at him Audine! Look at him! Look at your precious El one last time!" He jerks her head forward with force and she sees double for a moment. "His organs will shut down one by one. He'll either bleed out or a blood clot will go to his lungs. Either way, he'll start to have trouble breathing and eventually his heart will become exhausted from the effort and just stop beating altogether. Now we can give him a little show before he's dead or I can take you into that barn with me and at least spare you from watching his final moments." Olivia's sobs were hysterical.</p><p>"NO NO NO ELLIOT! ELLIOT STAY WITH ME! PLEASE, YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME EL! YOU PROMISED! PLEASE!" His eyes drooped. "NO PLEASE EL STAY AWAKE PLEASE YOU HAVE TO STAY AWAKE YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! I NEED YOU! I'M SO SCARED I CAN'T….I CAN'T DO ANY OF THIS WITHOUT YOU." She tries to appeal to his protectiveness. "Elliot you're the only one who can keep me safe if you...if you die...Lester will be able to do whatever he wants to me." She shivered. "You promised you'd protect me...you promised El." He coughed, trying to get air in his lungs. "I-I l-l-love you, Livia." She reaches out to cup his cheek and Lester slaps her hand away and forces her mouth open before she can react. She gags between sobs and squirms under his possessive hold.</p><p>"I'm doing you a favor Audine...he can't talk to you anymore, but at least he said something nice in his last few breaths." This time when he kisses her she bites down on his tongue as hard as she can. He slaps her across the face and yanks her off Elliot's lap and out of the car.</p><p>"Scream all you want...no one can save you." He kicks her onto the ground and takes off his belt, but before he can hit her a gunshot goes off.</p><p>Then another...then another. She's frozen in fear and curled up to block his hits, oblivious to the fact that he's groaning in pain.</p><p>The 5th shot sends him tumbling to the ground on top of her. She screams and tries to push him off. Her mind is delirious with fear and it takes her a few moments to realize the man is unmoving and has no pulse. She's trapped and sobs underneath him. She doesn't hear the sirens, her only thoughts are of Elliot, unconscious and unmoving in the back of the car.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Few notes</p><p>this story is almost done, only a couple chapters left probably</p><p>Is Lester really dead this time?</p><p>Who shot him?</p><p>Is help really on the way? And one last question to leave you with:</p><p>Will Elliot be ok?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Not as abuse triggering as past chapters but this one may still be upsetting. Proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything seemed to happen in a blur as the sirens became deafening and Lester's body was pulled off of her.</p><p>"Liv...Liv….Olivia, can you hear me?" A hand reaches for her and she flinches with a whimper.</p><p>"Olivia it's Brian and Monique….it's just us honey. You're safe now. We're gonna get you to the hospital. It's all over. No one can hurt you anymore." Recognition swept across her features as she looked at her fellow detectives kneeling next to her, but all she could get out of her mouth was</p><p>"E-Elliot?" The partners exchanged a look of deep concern as if they had news they weren't sure how to tell Olivia. Her responding tortured cry made them both want to slap themselves for their 'too long' silence that caused her to fear the worst about the love of her life.</p><p>"NOOOOO! No, he's-you have to save him, please! He's not gone! He can't be...Elliot! Elliot!" She ran towards the paramedics rushing to get her partner on the stretcher.</p><p>"Ma'am, ma'am we're gonna need you to step back."</p><p>"You don't understand." She sobbed. "He's my-" best friend, partner, boyfriend, other half, soulmate, one and only. "He's my partner." She figured that 'partner' was a sufficient word to describe all that he was to her. He was her partner in so many ways. "I need to go with him! You have to save him! Please!"</p><p>"Liv we need to get you to the hospital too, Elliot would want you to get checked out.." She noticed her captain had come up behind her.</p><p>"Don...I can't lose him."</p><p>"I know sweetheart, I know." He had always thought of her as a daughter and seeing her agony over the man he considered a son broke his heart. He turned to the medics. "Let her ride with him." As the stretcher is loaded in with Elliot and Olivia gets in the back Cragen pulls one of the medics to the side.</p><p>"Is he gonna make it?"</p><p>"We're going to do everything we possibly can."</p><p>"He's got 4 kids and a partner who need him...I don't think I need to tell you how devastating losing him would be." He replied solemnly looking at Olivia, who was next to the stretcher, holding Elliot's hand and crying. He could see her lean over and kiss his forehead as an oxygen mask and heart monitor were placed on him. "For all of us."</p><p>"We're losing him!" Might be the most terrifying words Olivia had ever heard. "He needs blood stat or he might not make it to the ER." The beeps of the heart monitor were tainting her as his vitals dropped. She tried to contain her sobs as she spoke up over the chaos.</p><p>"We're both A positive! Let me save him please!"</p><p>"Are you sure?" She could've killed them. Why were they questioning her instead of saving Elliot?</p><p>"Yes! We're partners in the same unit, I've spent nearly every day with him in the last year and a half I think I know what his freaking blood type is!"</p><p>"Ma'am please relax-"</p><p>"RELAX!? You try 'relaxing' when someone who means everything to you is dying on a stretcher and see how YOU feel!"</p><p>"Hook her up!" Another medic shouted. "He doesn't have much time left." She sobbed loudly.</p><p>They lost his heartbeat before they could hook Olivia up to his IV to transfer her blood and her own heart shattered. "NOOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!" They started CPR and she had to look away.</p><p>"We've got a faint pulse!" She could have passed out from relief.</p><p>"Oh thank god." She took his hand and could see color slowly returning to his body as her own blood was pumped into his veins to make up for the blood loss he'd suffered. She kissed his hand and held it to her cheek, beyond thankful for its warmth as a sign of life.</p><p>"Unbelievable." She glanced up at the medic's voice as Elliot's pulse and other vitals seemed to pick back up the minute she grabbed his hand and they started transferring her blood. She never thought she'd be so glad to hear him cough as the ambulance arrived at the entrance of the ER. She was his lifeline.</p><p>"El...El baby stay with me. We're at the hospital and we're gonna get you patched up. You'll be alright sweetheart. You're gonna be alright." She heard him mumble through the mask and more tears poured from her eyes. She hadn't realized how much she missed his voice until she thought she'd never hear it again. The thumb of the hand she held to her cheek caressed her face softly, wiping away her tears and although his eyes were half closed he gave her a lazy smile, 'I love you' was what he had tried to say. She knew just by looking at him. "I love you too El...so much." She kissed his hand as they entered the ER.</p><p>"Ma'am I'm sorry but you can't go into the OR-"</p><p>"He needs me!" She didn't let go of his hand. She couldn't. He lifted a shaky hand to his oxygen mask, trying to remove it. She kneeled down and lifted it just enough that he could speak to her.</p><p>"I'll be ok baby. I promise." His voice was raspy and quiet but the same soothing tone she loved. She leaned her forehead against his and he kissed her softly. "I love you." He said, wanting to be sure she heard him. Her tears fell on his face.</p><p>"I love you too El. More than anything." He tugged at her hand as the doctors started to roll the stretcher away.</p><p>"What honey?"</p><p>"T-take care of yourself-"</p><p>"That's your job." She smiled tearfully.</p><p>"If some-something happens to me if I don't make it. Promise me Liv. Promise me you'll take care of yourself and you'll find happiness. You deserve the world. Promise me."</p><p>"Don't say that. You're gonna make it. You can't leave me." She cried.</p><p>"Baby, please. J-just promise me. I need to know you'll be ok." She swallowed a sob.</p><p>"I promise El. I'll try." But she knew she could never be ok without him.</p><p>"I love you." There was a finality to the words. As if he was trying to say it as many times as he could to make sure those were the last words she heard from him if he died. He never wanted her to doubt that he had loved and cared for her unconditionally. She couldn't respond without sobbing and the minute he was wheeled into the OR she collapsed on the floor in sobs. Inconsolable.</p><p>X</p><p>She figured she must have passed out at some point, the grief enveloping her into exhaustion. She didn't know how much time had passed but it felt like days. As far as she knew Elliot was still alive but she missed him so much and felt empty inside. Her Captain and fellow detectives were sitting with her now in a waiting room. No one said anything. The air to sorrowful for words.</p><p>"I keep thinking." Olivia's voice was small and shaky. "That I'm gonna wake up and he's gonna be holding me, consoling me and telling me I was having a nightmare and that it would be ok. It was just a bad dream. And then I look around and I realize that he can't hold me because this isn't a nightmare and he might never hold me again or tell me to blink my lights when I get inside or tell me he loves me or solve cases with me and take down perps in the interrogation room. I keep wishing so badly that this was a nightmare and that he was taking me in his arms and kissing away my tears and it sounds so cheesy and ridiculous but I already miss him. I miss him so much."</p><p>"He's a fighter Liv. He's gonna make it." John Munch stated firmly.</p><p>"But what if he doesn't? He's all I have."</p><p>"I think you're underestimating how much that man loves you. A couple of bullet holes aren't enough for Stabler to leave you."</p><p>"And I know none of us could ever take his place, but you have us too, we're a family Liv." The sincere words coming from Brian Cassidy's mouth shocked but warmed the group.</p><p>"He wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. How is this right? That I only have a few bruises and he's fighting for his life?"</p><p>"He was doing what he does best: protecting you."</p><p>"I know he was."</p><p>"If it's any consolation...Lester Sproles is dead. For real this time."</p><p>"I can still feel him on me. I can still feel his hands in my hair and...everywhere." She shuddered. "I can still taste him and hear his voice and feel his breath on my neck." She sobbed "Every time I close my eyes I see him doing things that either happened or that he would've done to me. He's still haunting me. Dead or alive. He killed my friend that I tried to save 10 years ago, he killed my mother, and now Elliot's-"</p><p>"Going to make a full recovery." The group looked up at the doctor's voice.</p><p>"You better not be messing with me because I really can't take-"</p><p>"We successfully removed both bullets. The one in his shoulder wasn't anywhere that will create lasting damage except a scar. The one in his side narrowly missed his kidney and was touch and go but we managed. He's a miracle. Aside from needing some pain medication and temporary desk duty your husband will be just fine Mrs. Stabler. Your blood donation saved his life." She didn't even bother to correct him when he said 'husband' and 'Mrs. Stabler'.</p><p>"Is he awake? Can I see him?"</p><p>"The anesthesia hasn't completely worn off yet but yes. 2 visitors at a time though." Cragen helped her to her feet and looped his arm with hers for support as they walked down the hall to the recovery room. He stood outside, allowing her to enter first. She couldn't hold back the sob when she stepped into Elliot's room. His left shoulder and side were wrapped in bandages. There were monitors on his chest to keep track of his heartbeat and he had a tube down his throat that had helped him breathe during surgery. She had done this to him. She had broken the man she loved.</p><p>"Go on and sit with him, honey." A nurse reassured her gently. She walked slowly, sitting in the chair beside his bed. He looked so fragile and she was hesitant to take his hand, worried she would hurt him. Tears pulled in her eyes when she saw his hand move slightly, his fingers inching toward her own.</p><p>"Talk to him." She places her hand on his.</p><p>"Can he hear me?" As if responding to her question himself, his hand grasps hers and squeezes gently. She laughs tearfully and smiles.</p><p>"I think that answers your question." The nurse smiles. "I'll give you two some time."</p><p>"Hey, El. I'm so glad you're ok. I don't know what I would've done if-" she sniffles, unable to finish the sentence. "This is hard. I should be the one in that bed, not you. But, thanks to you and your stubborn protectiveness…I hope that didn't sound like I was blaming you, baby. You saved me El. Just like I knew you would." Her voice cracks and she feels his thumb stroking the back of her hand as reassuring her and comforting her. Telling her everything would be ok now. "It's silly because you're laying right in front of me, but I miss you El. I miss your voice, your words, I miss being in your arms...everything. You've turned me into a cheesy lovesick school girl Stabler." She teased and could see the beginning of a smirk on his face. "I miss your smile. Your eyes. I'll stop rambling now I just-I know you need to rest but there's a selfish part of me that wants you to wake up. I'll be right here when you do. You've never left me and I'm giving you that same promise." She leaned down to kiss his forehead sweetly and his hand reached up to gently pull her head down to rest on his shoulder. Her heart warmed. He was asleep and recovering from surgery yet somehow knew she was next to him and wanted to comfort her. "You trying to put me to sleep?" She could feel a slight chuckle rumble through his chest and she tucked her face into his neck, inhaling his scent that she wasn't sure she'd ever smell again. "Always taking care of me aren't you? Ok...well as long as you're with me I think I can." She placed a small kiss on his uninjured shoulder where her head was resting. "I love you, Elliot." He squeezed her shoulder gently as if to say 'I love you too'.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: he's gonna pull through! I know this chapter is shorter than some of the others but I liked ending it on this happier note. Just to put everyone's mind at ease...he will wake up next chapter and his kids will visit him too :)</p><p>I think either next chapter or the one after will be the last one and then an epilogue 10 years into the future. Thanks to all who have read/followed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing she registered was a warm, comforting feeling unlike the chill of fear she had hours earlier. Someone was caressing her cheek and hair gently but this touch didn't frighten her. It made her feel safe. It was the touch of someone that loved and cared deeply for her. She was leaning over in a chair and her head was resting on the shoulder that the hand belonged to. Elliot. She snuggled into his neck and ran a hand across his chest, stopping when she hit the breathing tube that reminded her they were in the hospital. The hand that had been stroking her cheek tilted her chin up slightly and another hand grasped the one that had been absentmindedly exploring his chest and held it close to his heart. She opened her eyes and broke out in a huge, tearful smile when she saw the calming swirls of blue that stared back at her lovingly.</p><p>"There's those beautiful blue eyes. Hi baby." She lifts her head to pepper his face with small kisses. "I'm so happy you're awake. I missed you." He turned his head and attempted to sit up slightly so he could see her better. He made a gesture towards the tube and his face scrunched up in pain. "Oh, sweetheart I'm so sorry it hurts. I'm gonna go get the nurse ok." He shakes his head as much as he's able and motions toward the remote to call the nurse and her heart warms at the realization that he's in pain and yet he's still concerned for her and wants her close. He doesn't even want her to leave the room for a second.</p><p>"You two are the most adorable married couple I think I've ever seen! How long have you been together?" The nurse asked. Olivia blushed and Elliot's eyes perked up. He squeezed her hand and his eyes told her to play along.</p><p>"Almost two years."</p><p>"Well let me just say that I can tell your relationship is one that will last till the end of time. I know true love when I see it. My husband and I have been married for 30 years." Elliot coughs and groans, struggling against the tube and the pain.</p><p>"Shhhh baby, baby don't try to talk just relax. I know it hurts but the nurse is gonna take it out ok? It's alright sweetheart. It's gonna be alright." She kissed his forehead comfortingly.</p><p>He coughed a few times when the tube was taken out and Olivia rushed to the sink to get him some water. "Here honey. Take a sip but slowly. Don't go too fast or you'll hurt yourself."</p><p>"Your wife is very devoted Mr. Stabler. I'll give you two some time. Let me know if you need anything else." He cleared his throat and swallowed as relief filled his features. He lifted Olivia's hand to his lips and kissed it a few times, bringing tears to her eyes.</p><p>"Hey, beautiful." His voice is rough and raspy from the tube and surgery, but its music to her ears.</p><p>"Hardly, I'm a mess." She teased but he shook his head.</p><p>"No Livia, you're gorgeous." She felt anything but. She felt disgusting. She felt ashamed of herself for letting that monster touch her. She looked away and sniffled.</p><p>"Oh sweetie, come here." She didn't deserve his comfort. She didn't deserve to have him wipe away her tears. She might as well have put him in this hospital bed herself. "Look at me, baby. You never have to hide your tears from me. Not ever."</p><p>"I feel so dirty El. I can still feel him all over me and I-"</p><p>"They should've given you something to change into. Did anyone check you out?" She hadn't even realized she was still wearing the shirt that was now stained with both Elliot and Lester's blood.</p><p>"I had to know if you were ok first. Besides it's not that bad, you protected me-"</p><p>"Not the whole time. The creep still touched you. He still hurt you." Her heart broke at the look of guilt on his face.</p><p>"El, honey you did what you could. None of this was your fault."</p><p>"Did he-" he swallowed hard, unable to say the word.</p><p>"No, no he just hit me a couple times, taunted me. He had his h-hands all over me and...kissed me. but he didn't rape me. You saved me El."</p><p>"I shouldn't have left my gun out in the open like that I should've hidden it. He still would've had your gun but I could've saved us both."</p><p>"I'm the one who suggested we make love and didn't think to turn up the volume on the phone. Cragen said he had been trying to reach us for over an hour. We would've gotten away."</p><p>"I'm so sorry Liv. I know you don't blame me but I can't help but feel like someone else could've protected you better."</p><p>"Elliot you nearly died protecting me." She choked back tears at the reminder that she'd almost lost him. "No one else has ever made me feel as safe as you do. No one could ever fill the hole in my heart if you were gone."</p><p>"Come here, my love." Seeing her cry always broke his heart. She was his baby, his world and he wished he could save her from ever feeling pain again. "Does it hurt?" He asks looking at the bruise on her neck where Lester had tried to choke her.</p><p>"No, I'm not in pain El I promise." He held her hand and kissed it sweetly and then paged the nurse.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"My wife was injured too but wasn't checked out or given anything clean to change into-" They exchanged smiles at how quickly they slipped into the 'pretending we're married' role.</p><p>"My husband is stubborn and overprotective."</p><p>"He just loves you, honey." She smiled knowingly.</p><p>"Yes, I do." He smiled warmly at Olivia.</p><p>"Mrs. Stabler there's a shower in the bathroom if you want to-" She was hesitant. She wanted Lester's filth off of her but didn't want to leave Elliot. He was the only thing distracting her from a flashback or from thinking about what happened.</p><p>"I'll be fine."</p><p>"What about a sponge bath?" Olivia laughed out loud.</p><p>"I didn't mean it like that baby. I just want you to feel clean and comfortable." He turns to the nurse.</p><p>"Just a gown, towel, lotion, some soap and water, and a sponge. I'll take care of her."</p><p>"You trying to seduce me, Stabler?"</p><p>"Doc says I can't for 6 weeks." He smirked. "I just want to help you feel better. I'm gonna get you cleaned up and then I'm gonna hold you."</p><p>"With what, your feet?"</p><p>"Ha Ha, my hands still work. I'll just have to be creative." She laughed and her heart warmed. Even as fragile as he looked in the hospital bed, he was still her Elliot and he would always make sure she was loved and cared for.</p><p>"Here you go, Mr. And Mrs. Stabler. I'll give you two some privacy."</p><p>"Are we gonna talk about the fact that my nurse thinks we're married? Because I gotta say, Olivia Stabler does have a nice ring to it." He put a towel over himself and helped her lay back across his chest, careful to not lay directly on the bandages.</p><p>"I think so too." He helped her remove the bloody t-shirt and threw it in the trash.</p><p>"I do in fact plan to marry you someday Olivia Benson." He soaked the sponge in the tub of soap the nurse had prepared.</p><p>"Where's my ring?" He chuckled.</p><p>"I'm not proposing in a hospital, you deserve all the romance I have to offer." He ran the sponge on her shoulders and neck gently. "But someday soon my love, someday soon."</p><p>"I'd love that." She placed her hand over his, stopping his loving cleanse of her body. "Don't use the sponge." She smiles at him and removes the sponge from his hand, leaving his hand resting on her arm. "I could use your touch." After Lester's filthy hands were on her, baiting her possessively, she craved Elliot's soothing, gentle caress to make the feeling go away.</p><p>"Anything for you baby." He used the hand on his injured shoulder to hold the sponge as he lathered his other hand in soap and lovingly washed her chest and stomach.</p><p>"That feels so good." She hummed and rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent. There was nothing sexual about the way he was touching her. He was washing away her wounds, soothing her, loving her skin with his hand. He was ridding her of every disgusting, terrifying threat the monster inflicted on her. It was healing.</p><p>"Do you have any cuts? I don't want to get soap in those."</p><p>"I think there might be one on my back from when he kicked me on the ground." He cringed as the image of what had happened to her surfaced on his brain.</p><p>"Ok. We should look and maybe get you a bandage." He rinsed his hand off in the water and took a cup from his tray, placing water in it and pouring it on her body to rinse the soap off. "I hate to make you do this because my feet probably stink but you'll have to lay the other way so I can reach your legs." She giggled when she laid facing his feet and he tickled her nose with his toe.</p><p>"El!"</p><p>"Sorry." He smirked, continuing his gentle cleanse of her legs and feet. She rubbed her foot in his face to get back at him and he kissed her toes.</p><p>"That tickles."</p><p>"Oh, I remember." He chuckled. He rinses her legs and then takes her hand and helps her sit up so she can lay facing him again on her stomach.</p><p>"You've got a couple small cuts, nothing too bad but I'm gonna have the nurse bring a couple bandages ok?" He covers her up with the blanket and towel and pages the nurse again for some band-aids.</p><p>"You've got yourself a good man, Mrs. Stabler."</p><p>"Yes, I certainly do."</p><p>"I'm the lucky one," Elliot replied while bandaging the cuts on Olivia's back. He continues his soothing caress when the nurse leaves the room. His tenderness brought tears to her eyes and she knew she was falling even more in love with him than she already was.</p><p>He washed her hair next, massaging her scalp and kissing her forehead a few times. Then he helped her dry off and rubbed her body gently with lotion. He helped her put the gown on and positioned her so he was cradling her in the bed. His right arm was wrapped around her shoulders and his left hand was on her hip. He couldn't hold her fully with his injured shoulder but it was good enough for her.</p><p>"I missed this."</p><p>"Me too love." He kissed her forehead softly, then her eyelids; his lips brushing away any remaining tears. He kissed her nose and her temple and moved to her ear. All spots where Lester had either touched her or had his breath on her when he whispered into her ear. Elliot was soothing away. He was replacing the pain with his love. She shivered when she felt Elliot's breath on her neck, but this time it wasn't a shiver of fear.</p><p>"I love you. You're beautiful. You mean everything to me. You're strong. You're a survivor. You're the light of my life. I'll never leave your side. We'll get through this together like we always have. I'm your partner for better or worse." He whispered, healing her with his words, soothing and loving her with his kisses. He kissed her earlobe and around the bruise on her neck. He kissed her chin and then her lips. She deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue entrance as he swept her mouth gently. She melted into his embrace, Lester's threatening words and possessive touches far from her mind as the kiss continued. She couldn't taste or feel the monster at that moment, just Elliot. Elliot's love, care, and safety that had almost been ripped away from her forever and he was showering her in it. Reminding her that they had made it. That he was still with her. That they would be ok.</p><p>They smiled at each other when they pulled away.</p><p>"Do I still have morning breath?" Elliot asked and Olivia giggled.</p><p>"You're absolutely perfect." She snuggled into his embrace. "I love you El."</p><p>"I love you too baby. Always will."</p><p>X</p><p>His kids came by that afternoon. Kathy dropped them off but didn't go up to see Elliot. Olivia was upset with her about it but Elliot didn't mind, saying that Olivia and his kids were all he needed.</p><p>"Daddy!" His twins ran into the room despite their older sisters telling them to be careful.</p><p>"It's alright girls, it's alright. Come on in."</p><p>"We're so glad you two are ok," Maureen said. She and Kathleen had tears in their eyes.</p><p>"You should see the other guy," Elliot smirked and the whole room laughed.</p><p>"I should let you guys have some time with your dad," Olivia said and started to get up.</p><p>"Liv you're practically family."</p><p>"She is our family or will be when dad finally asks her. Anyway, we love you Liv. Please don't leave." There was a chorus of agreement that brought tears to her eyes. She had a family. Her partner, his kids, their captain, and fellow detectives. They were all her family.</p><p>"I agree with my kids on that one." Elliot smiled and kissed her forehead.</p><p>"I love you guys so much. All of you. Let me at least get up so you can hug your dad. He's still hurt on that one side."</p><p>"I'm fine and I love group hugs, come here."</p><p>"Love you. Love you. Love you. Love you. He said as they leaned over to hug him and kiss his cheek. "And love you." He turns to Liv and gives her a peck on the lips.</p><p>"Ewww cooties!" Dickie says and everyone laughs again.</p><p>"I think dad is immune to any cooties Liv would have by now." Kathleen teased and Elliot rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Well, their Captain isn't so keep it PG around me, please. You up for some visitors?" Cragen poked his head in the doorway.</p><p>"I guess a few more won't hurt," Elliot smirked as his colleagues entered the room.</p><p>"Good to see you're still kickin' ol man." John Munch teased.</p><p>"Gee thanks, John." Chuckles fill the room.</p><p>"You've got a few years on him John, careful who you call old." Monique Jefferies smirked.</p><p>"You've all got a few years on Liv and I, we're the babies of the squad." Brian Cassidy stated proudly.</p><p>"Liv's our baby, you've got plenty of grey and just hide it," Elliot smirked and Olivia laughed.</p><p>"Alright, kids. At least you still have hair." Cragen pointed to his bald head and everyone laughed.</p><p>"Aw Cap you're not that old."</p><p>"And that Olivia is why you are my favorite."</p><p>"Can't argue with that one." Elliot kissed her head.</p><p>X</p><p>The group chatted for a bit and then the room slowly cleared as Maureen and Kathleen took the twins to eat and Munch, Cassidy, and Jefferies headed back to the station.</p><p>"Did I get him?" Elliot asked Cragen and he didn't need to say the name for the other two in the room to know who he was referring to. Cragen nodded.</p><p>"First shot went directly in his heart, if he even had one, and killed him instantly. Even without it the other 4 shots you fired would have paralyzed him. You'll never have to worry about him again. They uh, they found your brother on the scene too, also dead."</p><p>"I don't care, I don't give a crap. He's just as guilty as Lester. He tried to take Olivia away from me. He's been dead to me for years anyway."</p><p>"I'm the one that shot Matt," Olivia spoke up feeling the need to defend her partner. "I'm guessing IAB wants to talk to us now."</p><p>"You both saved your partner's life and countless other victims. Lester Sproles had a revenge kill list 10 miles long and it was cut short. IAB has nothing to say. You will, however, need to meet with the department psychologist before returning to work...if you think you can go back." He looks at Olivia.</p><p>"Oh, I'm going back." She says in a determined tone. "I'll talk to the shrink, I'll take a few weeks off while Elliot's recovering, but I'm going back. I'm not letting Lester take that away from me. I'm a cop, it's who I am. Besides I'm supposed to have my partner's back, we can read each other like the back of our hands Cap. I can do my job."</p><p>"Never doubted it." He smiled proudly and Elliot squeezed her hand.</p><p>"Any idea when I can get out of here?" Elliot asked and a thought dawned on Olivia.</p><p>"Wait, where are we gonna go? His apartment's destroyed and I don't think I can go back to mine."</p><p>"That was another reason I came in, one-PP has offered to pay for an apartment for you guys to live in together."</p><p>"Fine with me."</p><p>"Ok." Years ago, she would have been skeptical about moving in with someone so fast, but with Elliot it was different. He was the one for her and she knew she'd never want anyone else.</p><p>"You sure Liv?" Elliot asked, slightly surprised she agreed so quickly.</p><p>"I've never been more sure of anything in my life." She smiled at him warmly.</p><p>X</p><p>"I don't need a wheelchair, I'm fine."</p><p>"You're recovering Elliot, you are not walking out to the car and you are not driving."</p><p>"Now who's being overprotective?"</p><p>"Just returning the favor," Olivia smirked and helped him into the wheelchair.</p><p>"Liv." He started as she began pushing it. "If we're gonna both do this overprotective thing you were injured too. You shouldn't be exerting yourself to push this thing."</p><p>"This thing is holding the love of my life. Now hush and cooperate Stabler. You have the right to remain silent."</p><p>"I give up that right."</p><p>"Of course you do." She rolls her eyes and continues pushing the chair and wheeling him down the hallway. "You know if it was me in the hospital and I had asked to be discharged early? You would have strapped me to the bed so I couldn't leave."</p><p>"This a competition to see who is more protective? Come on baby you're pushing steel armor, your arms have to be tired." She laughed.</p><p>"You are not that heavy and I won't lie and say I don't love those muscles but that ego is way too big." He gets an idea and smirks.</p><p>"Hey, baby stop for a second I need a break."</p><p>"You're not doing anything."</p><p>"Come here."</p><p>"I'm already here El."</p><p>"To my side."</p><p>"Is it hurting?"</p><p>"Please just come here pumpkin." He makes a pouty face and she giggles and gives him a soft glare.</p><p>"No food names detective."</p><p>"I'm sorry, come here my angel."</p><p>"Wow-" She squeals and smacks him lightly on the chest when he grabs her waist, causing her to fall in his lap. He wraps one arm around her holding her in place and uses the other hand to move the wheel and push the chair.</p><p>"Elliot!"</p><p>"Yes future Mrs. Stabler?"</p><p>"You realize this is completely against the doctor's orders?"</p><p>"Since when do I care what a doctor says?" She just smiles and shakes her head.</p><p>"What am I going to do with you?"</p><p>"Cuddle with me when we get to the apartment?"</p><p>"If you behave. No strenuous activity for 6 weeks."</p><p>"I can handle it. Longer than you can." She raises an eyebrow and he chuckles.</p><p>"I will be just fine. Wipe that smirk off your face."</p><p>"What? It's my face." He says in mock hurt. "My handsome wittle face."</p><p>"Uh huh. Now let me up so I can go get the car."</p><p>"You're leaving me?" He makes his best pouty face and she giggles and kisses him.</p><p>"Don't tempt me."</p><p>"I call shotgun! I wanna sit by the beautiful chauffeur!" He yells as she walks away and she rolls her eyes playfully.</p><p>"You're impossible Stabler!"</p><p>"Love you too future Stabler!" Her heart flutters as it had 2 days earlier when the doctor called her 'Mrs. Stabler' and referred to Elliot as her husband. That would be a dream come true.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Some much-needed fluff! Also, I changed my mind and I'm gonna add to this story so this isn't the last chapter. Till next time, thanks for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Closure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: We've made it to the last chapter already! Just the epilogue after this and then I have an outtake/one-shot idea set 10 years later that I'll write. Thanks to all my readers! Same warnings as previous chapters due to this story dealing with abuse. Proceed with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lightheartedness of the day continued, both partners blissfully happy and so thankful they hadn't lost each other. The traumatic events and Lester himself seemed far from Olivia's mind until the sunset.</p><p>They had snuggled on the couch for a while and eaten Chinese takeout. Then, Elliot went to shower and Olivia cleaned up their new kitchen before heading into the bedroom. She finds herself staring at the bed and feels the chill again.</p><p>Her heart stopped when something cold was pressed against her cheek and she heard a chilling voice that definitely did not belong to the man holding her.</p><p>Her eyes popped open in fear and the object she now recognized as her own gun was shoved into her mouth.</p><p>"Make one sound and he's dead."</p><p>"Liv? What's the matter, sweetie?" Elliot walks out of the bathroom to find Olivia in a frozen state, staring at the bed. "Honey?" Her eyes are glazed over, she doesn't look at him or even seem to notice he's there, and as he gets closer to her he notices she's shaking. He moves closer and touches her shoulder and she flinches away from him, her mind glazed over with fear and no recognition in her eyes. Flashback.</p><p>"Hey, hey it's just me. It's just Elliot."</p><p>"Elliot?" She whimpered and it was like she was looking straight through him but her tone was pleading for him.</p><p>"Yeah, it's just me baby. Just me." He can see her let out the breath she had been holding and lean into him.</p><p>"I'm safe." He nods and kisses her head.</p><p>"We're safe sweetheart, it's all over, I promise."</p><p>"I'm sorry I just-"</p><p>"It's alright, I'm gonna hold you. Just breathe honey. It's alright." He wraps his good arm around her shoulders and his other arm around her waist.</p><p>"I can't stop seeing him El. I come in here and look at the bed and I see him forcing us to get up and go with him, I try to close my eyes and I see his face, hear his laughter, his taunts. I can still see him shooting you and the-the blood. No matter how many times I shower I can't get clean. He didn't even really do anything this time and yet I can still feel his hands, his breath, I can still taste him I-" She whimpered and buried her face in Elliot's neck and breathed in his scent, trying to block out Lester's. "I know he's dead, but that's what I thought 10 years ago too and it feels like he's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life." She shuddered in his arms and squeezed her eyes shut, her neck and chest burning with the memory. "Elliot make it go away, please make it go away." He feels his heart break.</p><p>"Oh, baby I wish I could. I wish I could make all the pain you've ever felt go away. If I knew how I'd do it in a heartbeat. I love you so much." She sniffled.</p><p>"I hate sounding clingy, but I don't think I'm gonna feel safe if I'm not in your arms."</p><p>"That's ok. That's what I'm here for, you know that. I'd do anything to make you feel safe. You wanna take another shower and lay down on the couch for a while? We can sleep on the couch tonight if that would help."</p><p>"Elliot you can't sleep on the couch, you just got out of the hospital."</p><p>"I'll be fine."</p><p>"And I'm too scared to sleep. It doesn't matter where, if I sleep in the bedroom I'll think about being forced out of your arms at gunpoint and then you waking up and almost getting killed before we both ended up going with him. If I sleep on the couch I'll stare at the door wondering if he's gonna end up not really being dead and burst through the door. Either place I'll have nightmares. He's haunting me El."</p><p>"Livia, baby I'm gonna be here to hold you all night. I promise. He can't get you when I'm with you. Whether he's alive or dead."</p><p>"I know that." She stroked his arm gently. "But 10 years ago after everything that happened, I couldn't sleep for months. I had to be hospitalized for sleep deprivation and they had to give me a sedative to force me to sleep. That's how bad it was. I finally went to a psychiatrist but I couldn't even tell her everything. She gave me this really strong medicine that was supposed to help me sleep and eventually it did but I'd occasionally still have nightmares. They never went completely away. Course once I started working SVU and we got together I had distractions but I've dreaded being home alone for the past decade as much as I hide it and act independent. That's why I work overtime so much, the less time I have to spend alone in my thoughts the better. There was a guy in my unit when I was a patrol officer and his name was Lester. The CO partnered us up one night to monitor a checkpoint on a busy road. I couldn't look him in the eye. He would try to start up a conversation and I would just sit there frozen. Anyway, I was driving and he put his hand on my shoulder, trying to get my attention cause we had passed the place we were supposed to stop at and I lost it. All the sudden I was back there and I wasn't watching the road anymore. The next thing I know the car is swerving into the wrong lane and we nearly hit a semi truck head on. I almost got an innocent man killed because of his name! He didn't file a complaint or anything and I was transferred to SVU quickly after that. When Cragen told me my partner was a man, I almost quit. I went home and I prayed Elliot. You know me, that's not something I normally do and it was probably silly. But I prayed that you were nothing like Lester Sproles and that I wouldn't lose control this time. That I could actually make a partnership and heck maybe a friendship work for once. I walked into Cragen's office the next day, saw the back of your head and how muscular you were and almost bolted out the door but, then you turned around, and I saw your eyes and I don't think I had ever felt more steady and secure than in that moment. I slept for a full 8 hours that night El because instead of seeing Lester's eyes I saw yours and I wasn't drowning anymore, I had an anchor, a life vest. A life vest that was almost ripped away from me 2 days ago and now I'm scared because I was protected but the people I loved weren't and that's worse than anything he could have possibly done to me. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my anchor and now I can't get it out of my head that I almost had to find out."</p><p>There are tears shining in his eyes too and he wishes he knew how to erase every painful memory she had ever had. He pulls her into his arms gently leaning back on the couch so her head is resting on his uninjured shoulder and she was cradled in his lap. He pressed his lips to her forehead soothingly and she closed her eyes breathing in his scent and allowing his warmth and safety to surround her. "Sweetheart I wish I knew how to take it all away. I wish I could say something or do something so you'd never have a nightmare again and I'm so sorry that I can't promise you that. But what I can promise you, what I will always promise you is that I'm right here. I will never let go. I'm here for you to lean on. I'm here to make you feel loved and safe, no matter what. I love you more than I know how to put into words."</p><p>"But what if one day you aren't here El. What if something happens and-"</p><p>"Shhhh. You don't have to worry about that baby. Not for a very long time."</p><p>"It will be really hard for me you know, I don't know how I'd go on. I could never sit through your funeral I'd be inconsolable.</p><p>"Honey-"</p><p>"I'm scared El. I'm scared that someday my nightmares won't just be nightmares. I'm scared that I'm gonna watch you go down in a raid of gunfire or a car crash or cancer or something. I know it sounds pathetic, but I'm so used to having you by my side I don't think I could be alone again."</p><p>"You are not pathetic baby, I'd feel the same way if I lost you. But you wouldn't be alone Liv I've made sure you'd be taken care of. I have a whole trust fund set up for you and my kids if anything were to happen, you'd get half my pension in addition to yours, you're my power of attorney and next of kin so you'd get the house if we had one together, insurance policy, car-" Her eyes widened with worry and she cut him off.</p><p>"You've already planned out-El what's-god you're not sick are you?"</p><p>"No, no baby I'm fine. It's just procedure if a cop has a wife and kids-"</p><p>"I'm not your wife."</p><p>"You will be someday. I told you I was never letting you go." She sniffled and he could see tears in her eyes.</p><p>"I don't want to talk about this anymore. We're both here and alive and I don't-I don't want to think about you being-"</p><p>"I know sweetheart I know." He cooed and stroked her hair lovingly. "I will never leave you, not by choice. Baby 10 years ago you didn't have anyone, you had to go through the nightmares alone, that's why they were so bad. I promise you I'm going to be right here holding you, I'm going to be here to comfort you through the nightmares and the struggles and tears. You're not alone anymore my love and if I have it my way you never will be again."</p><p>"Promise?" Her voice sounded small and reminded him of his girls when they were little and he would calm them after a nightmare and they'd snuggle up to their teddy bear or blanket. His heart clenched, Olivia had never had that in her life, especially not in her childhood. He was her teddy bear, her shelter and he would do anything to make her feel secure.</p><p>"Oh, sweetie." He leans down to kiss the tear that makes its way down her cheek. "I promise. I promise. Come here. My Liv. My strong, sweet, beautiful Liv. I love you so very much and I always always will. Always and forever."</p><p>"Ditto." She sniffled as he wrapped her tightly in his arms, ignoring the slight pain in his shoulder as he did so. He shifted so he was laying on the couch with her resting on his chest, their legs intertwined in a cocoon of safety. He gently moved her head so her ear was on the spot his heart was to reassure her that he was alive and to soothe her so she could sleep. She snuggled into him, careful of his injuries and he could feel tears fall on his chest.</p><p>"I love you El. So much. Are you sure this isn't uncomfortable?"</p><p>"It's fine baby. As long as I can hold you in my arms I don't care where I am or if I'm in pain or anything. You're worth it."</p><p>"Hardly." She scoffed.</p><p>"Olivia Benson you listen to me. You are worth so much more than you realize than I can give you. You are so so so loved, and beautiful, and strong, and perfect in my eyes and I don't want to hear you degrade and devalue yourself anymore ok?" He looked at her and realized she was asleep. He kissed her head a few times hoping she'd heard him, hoping that he would be enough to get her through whatever struggles she may face. As long as they were together, he knew they could get through anything.</p><p>X</p><p>Numb. That was how she felt as she walked into the church and saw his casket in front of the altar. His kids, his 4 beautiful innocent children sat in the front row crying in the way that pulls at your heartstrings, the way no child should be crying because no child deserves to lose their daddy. Especially not to a bullet that should've hit her. She should be dead not him. Kathy surprisingly was there too and sat with her kids. She was surprised Lester had even allowed her to go to the funeral but she figured it was another way to torture her, to break her. Sitting through the funeral of the love of her life who had sacrificed his own life to protect her and knowing that when she was done she'd be at the mercy of the monster who had haunted her for a decade. He had her under his control, she was supposed to act like he was dead too while in reality, he was waiting for her in the car if she told anyone the truth there would be consequences. He hadn't hurt her physically yet, wanting to break her emotionally first. Just the thought of never being able to see Elliot Stabler again made her feel broken and lost. He was her everything and without him, she didn't feel like living. She had given up. Maureen told her she could sit in the front row with them but she didn't think she could handle it. She was overcome with guilt. If she hadn't dragged him into this, if she hadn't provoked Lester, her Elliot would still be alive. Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, and Dickie would still have their daddy. It wasn't fair and it was all her fault, and she knew the hole in her heart would never heal. Her legs were already shaking, and she was barely in the door. She was determined to hold it together today, she had to be strong for his family. Before their ordeal with Lester happened, she had made a promise to Elliot that she would take care of his kids and make sure they knew how much he loved them if anything ever happened on the job. It was an easy but emotional promise to make. She didn't know if Lester would let her, this might be the last time she saw any of them. But she could make today count, her last day of safety. She joined her co-workers in the second row, and her captain put his arm around her in support. Even he had tears in his eyes. Elliot had been like a son to him. Fin and Munch sat to the right of Cragen, trying to keep it together themselves. The service itself would be private, just family, friends, and colleagues. The burial and celebration of life dinner afterward were open to the public. She finally broke her gaze from her lap, where she had been looking when looking at his casket became too much to bear, and looked around. To the left of the casket was an organ, that was beginning to fill the church with "Amazing Grace". A military band sat behind it and she saw men dressed in uniform with a flag for the graveside honors. Her gaze settled on a collage of pictures at the front of the church, him and his family, him with each of his kids, him and the squad..and a framed picture of him and Olivia sitting on top of his casket. That was when the tears came. She wiped them away quickly, the service had barely started. If she broke down now she would never get through it. The pain and guilt were consuming her. Her partner in crime was dead. The only person who had loved her unconditionally, protected her and guarded her with his life, taken care of her, supported her, comforted her, fought for justice with her. The only person she could trust. Nothing would ever be the same. He would never hold her in his arms again, she'd never hear him say he loved her, they would never tease munch about how bad his coffee was, sneak kisses and romantic dinners on stakeouts, they'd never get married or have a family of their own. She'd never see those gorgeous blue eyes or his warm smile again. He'd never tuck his kids in and read them bedtime stories again. He'd never kiss their boo-boos, take them to soccer games and dance recitals, walk his daughters down the aisle. Her soulmate was dead, and he'd taken her heart with him. She was silently sobbing on her captain's shoulder. It wasn't fair. It wasn't freaking fair. She hadn't just lost Elliot, she'd lost the love and safety and happiness he had given her that she had never had before. Now she'd have to go back to Lester and return to the hell she thought she'd gotten away from. The next moments were a blur, it didn't seem real. The pastor spoke about what a good man Elliot was, how much he loved his family and friends, the lengths he'd go to to protect them. How as heartbreaking as it was, making the ultimate sacrifice showed just how strong his love was.</p><p>She was shaking with grief and fear as her beloved partner's casket was carried out of the church. She feels herself being yanked violently into a car as she exits. She prays that maybe Lester would at least drive her to the cemetery before taking her someplace to torture her so she could at least say her final goodbyes to the people she loved, to the love she had come to know at the 1-6, to her family. He grips her thigh possessively and drives to the back of the procession, trying to seem normal. She was sobbing and her heart ached for Elliot's loving, tender touch, his soothing voice, his warm and protective arms. Lester didn't let her get out of the car but parked and she could see the burial in the distance as her soulmate was laid in his final resting place. The 21 gun salute gutted her heart, it was so final, so terrifying, so devastating. Oh, Elliot please let this not be real, please save me, please tell me this is a nightmare.</p><p>"Stop cryin' Audine! It's annoying! Shut up!" She tried to jerk away from him but he slapped her and forced her onto his lap, squeezing her hips painfully. "Your boyfriend can't protect you anymore Audine! He's dead! See that? He's dead! YOU KILLED HIM!"</p><p>"No!" She screamed and tried everything to get away from him but his grip was too strong.</p><p>"You're gonna do what I say now! You don't have no choice anymore. You'll do whatever I want. You don't get to say no!"</p><p>"Elliot! Somebody! Help me please!" She cried out but knew no one could hear her.</p><p>"He's dead and it's all your fault! You got your precious boyfriend killed cause you couldn't follow orders. You killed him you worthless waste of air and now you're all mine!" He growled and she wished she had her gun, her handcuffs, anything. "Gotta say I've missed you Audine, haven't had anyone to order around in a while. I've already gotten to hear you scream."</p><p>"Please let me go." She sobbed, continuing to attempt to move out of his hold.</p><p>"Not gonna happen sweetheart." His mouth was on hers before she could protest and her mind was overwhelmed with Elliot's betrayed expression and continuous haunting phrases like "Why'd you let him kill me Liv? Why?" and Lester's taunts as he beat her, violated her. "You did this, it's your fault your precious boyfriend is dead. No one can protect you now."</p><p>"NOOOOOOO!"</p><p>She scrambled off the couch away from the arms that part of her mind told her were trying to comfort her. The other part of her mind, delirious with fear told her they were restraining her.</p><p>"Liv! Liv! Sweetheart, it's just me. It's ok baby it's ok it's Elliot. It's your El."</p><p>"Get off me! Stop touching me! Please!"</p><p>"Honey you're having a nightmare. It's not real. I promise. I'm not going to hurt you, sweetie. I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you ." Her eyes were squeezed shut and her body jerked on the floor as she continued to fight off her invisible attacker. Elliot's blood ran cold. "Livia. Open your eyes honey it's alright. I promise. It's Elliot. I'm right here sweetheart. El's here. I've got you, my love. I'm here. It's just me." He cooed, careful not to touch her, knowing that that could make the fear worse. He turns on the lights and runs to the bathroom, grabbing a bottle of his cologne and sprays it in the living room, hoping the familiar smell would coax her out of her state of terror. Her eyes open but are glazed over and his heart breaks at the lack of recognition as she seems to stare right through him.</p><p>"El?" Her voice was small and shaky and she looked at him with uncertainty as if he might suddenly morph into Lester.</p><p>"I'm here. It's just me honey." His voice is gentle and he slowly reaches his hand out to her, reminding her that he was comfort. He was her safety.</p><p>"B-but the funeral and then-then..you're dead El. He killed you." Her sob cracked his heart even more.</p><p>"No...no baby it was just a dream I promise you. I promise. Can I please hold your hand honey? I wanna show you something. Just for a second. I'm not gonna hurt you. It's just Elliot. Lester's not here, he's dead sweetie. He's never going to be able to hurt you again. Never." He gently takes her hands in his and moves one to rest on his chest over his heart beat and the other on his jawline where his stubble was that she loved, he would often leave it when he shaved just for her. Her shaking slowed a bit as she looked into the eyes that would forever be her anchor, her stability. "Feel that? I'm right here baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you. You're safe now." She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.</p><p>"Elliot. Oh, Elliot, it was awful. You were dead and he-he."</p><p>"Shhh deep breaths sweetheart, there you go. Nice and slow. Focus on my breathing, my heartbeat. Feel it. Trust it. We're both here, together, just you and me. Let it out, honey. Whatever you need to do. I've got you. Elliot's got you." The vibration of his voice in her ear was soothing, like a blanket. "You are safe, you're loved beyond measure, you're beautiful, you're stronger than you know." They held each other in silence for a few minutes as he calmed her and the terror from the nightmare slowly faded. She sniffled and stayed cuddled in his embrace.</p><p>"I'm sorry I woke you up."</p><p>"Don't be. It's morning and even if it wasn't I'm here when you need me. I don't care what time it is."</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"I love you too Livia. Always." He kissed her tears and her lips sweetly, reassuring her that it had been a dream, reminding her that they had survived.</p><p>X</p><p>"You sure you want to do this?"</p><p>"I never want to see that bastard again no, but I have to do this El. We both need closure. We need confirmation he's dead for real this time."</p><p>"Ok." They made their way into the morgue holding each other's hand firmly. Olivia sighed, swallowed hard, squeezed Elliot's hand and looked at the medical examiner through the glass.</p><p>"We're ready." She fought the urge to turn away when the sheet was pulled down and both partners breathed a collective sigh of relief at the body that was without a doubt dead. Even so, the longer Olivia looked the more chilled she felt and she shuddered and leaned into Elliot who wrapped his arm around her shoulders and spoke up.</p><p>"Cover him up."</p><p>It was over. It was finally over.</p><p>They thanked the ME and turned around as another man headed to the same spot they had been standing in.</p><p>"Is he gone?" He asked coldly and Olivia felt guilt pierce her heart, recognizing him as Althea's husband.</p><p>"For real this time," Olivia replied strongly but didn't meet the man's eyes.</p><p>"I'd like to shoot him a few dozen more times to be sure, I'd like to shoot him for every ounce of pain he inflicted on my wife but it ain't gonna bring her back is it?"</p><p>"Detective-"</p><p>"Virgil. I retired from the force last year. Y'all are detectives right?"</p><p>"Yeah. Partners." The other man raised his eyebrow.</p><p>"If I held and looked at my partner like that I'd be floatin' in the Mississippi River."</p><p>"We uh-"</p><p>"We became official about a year after she joined SVU. I'm gonna assume you're Althea's husband?"</p><p>"Was." His voice cracked. "Are you a father Detective Stabler?"</p><p>"Yeah. I've got four."</p><p>"How the hell do I tell my little girls their mother is-" He sobbed.</p><p>"Virgil I know it's worth nothing coming from me but I'm so sorry."</p><p>"You're captain filled me in on the basics Detective Benson. I know none of what happened was your fault. I should've been the one to kill him all those years ago. He would've been dead. I'd have made sure of it."</p><p>"You can't beat yourself up for this man. It'll destroy you." Elliot comforted.</p><p>"She was my wife! I was supposed to protect her and I couldn't! I failed the woman I love and now my girls don't have their mama. She never did anything to hurt anybody in her life. She had the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known. She was the best mother, the best person I-I don't know what to do now." He pounded the glass. "Why her you sick freak! Why couldn't you have just left us all alone! You didn't have to-" He dissolves into tears on the floor. "I wanna kill him! GOD, I WANNA KILL HIM!" Olivia moved away from Elliot and knelt on the floor next to the former detective.</p><p>"I wish I could've. When I had the chance. Hell, I wish I could've gotten the gun away from in Kentucky and put a bullet through that cold, rotten excuse of a heart he had. I wish I had just stayed here and not wanted to move from my mother. But most of all I wish I knew how to bring them back, your wife, my mother, all the people that monster killed. I want to bring him back to life so I can kill him and hand his body to you on a silver platter so you can finish the job. I won't pretend to know the pain your feeling. Elliot survived. But if he hadn't, I couldn't hold myself together as much as you are. You're ten times stronger than I am Virgil. This is the worst thing your family has to go through and there's nothing I can say to fix it but all you can do is go home and hug your girls tight, remind them every day how much you love them and how much their mother loved them."</p><p>"For what it's worth. I'm glad your partner survived but I'm nowhere near as strong as you are detective Benson."</p><p>"Olivia."</p><p>"After that psycho stole your dignity, tried everything he could to weaken who you are, it would be wrong of me to call you anything less than Detective."</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"You're right, there ain't anything we can do that will change what happened. Nothin's gonna bring them back, but you wanna do something for Althea? For your mother? Promise me, Detective Benson, promise yourself...don't let Lester Sproles steal that title from you. Don't ever let anyone steal it from you. You take a few weeks off to recover, then get back on the battlefield and you fight like hell for every victim that comes into your precinct. Don't you let anyone tell you you ain't strong, you ain't worth it. This city needs you. I've read about you two, Y'all have the highest case closure rate in the city. You wanna know how you defeat that monster even though he's dead? That's how. You've got fire in your eyes, determination, passion not all cops have. Sickos like that one, that's what really kills them, seeing their victims thrive. You ain't broken Detective, not like he tried to get you to believe you are, hell no. You just need to refuel. I can't go back to the force, but you and Detective Stabler are more valuable to the uniform than you realize. Together as a team, you're unstoppable. Use that. Get back to the 1-6 and kick ass like you have for the past 2 years. That's justice. That's how we win and he loses. You got that?" The partners were stunned and nodded, silently vowing to do just that. "And Detectives? If you two ever have kids one day they're gonna be the luckiest kids in the world. I've only known Y'all for a half hour and that much is certain."</p><p>X</p><p>3 months later</p><p>She grabbed the file from the stack on her desk, the engagement ring on her finger glimmering in the lights in the squad room.</p><p>"Liv? El? What are you guys doing back already?" Detective John Munch asked, entering the squad room and noticed the two partner's whose desk had been empty for the past few months back for duty.</p><p>"We work here." They replied in unison before returning to their paperwork.</p><p>Phones rang, coffee brewed, Munch rambled about some conspiracy, and Cassidy and Jefferies argued about whatever was on their minds.</p><p>Man did it feel good to be back.</p><p>"Perp's in interrogation 2. Whose turn is it to grill him?"</p><p>"We got it cap." Olivia picked up the folder, confident that they had what they needed to nail their latest suspect and the partners walked in perfect sync. Just like they always would.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Done! I think the epilogue will be their wedding. Thanks to all who have read this one! I'll be returning to write Father of Mine next.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: When reading the first part of this, listen to the song Color of My Love by Celine Dion and then for their first dance listen to I Swear by All For One. Warning: Pure fluff with some rated M content at the end, it's my first time writing a scene like that soo uh, bear with me.</p><p>Disclaimer: I do not own the songs used in this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Turn around! Let us see!"</p><p>"Oh my god!"</p><p>"We're gonna have the most beautiful stepmother in the world!"</p><p>"Liv you are gorgeous! Dad's gonna die when he sees you."</p><p>"I hope he doesn't. You don't think-" The Stabler girls giggled at Olivia's reaction and how much she loved their father.</p><p>"Relax mom. You look perfect. Our daddy loves you more than anything and we love you too!"</p><p>"Aww thank you, Katie. I love you guys a whole lot too." She sniffled. "It's a good thing I don't have makeup on yet I'm already crying damnit." She laughed and Maureen handed her a tissue.</p><p>"You do not need makeup you're flawless."</p><p>"Trust me Mo when you're my age, makeup is not something you want to go without."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure dad would love you no matter what your face looks like."</p><p>"He is pretty sweet isn't he?" She spoke in a dreamy tone and the girls pretended to gag.</p><p>"Eww, that's our dad you're talking about. Save the mush for the honeymoon when you're making us our new baby sister. Dickie wants a brother but he's outnumbered." She rolled her eyes and her smile grew when she felt the youngest Stabler girl tug on her dress.</p><p>"Yes, Lizzie?"</p><p>"Can I call you mama Liv?"</p><p>"You sure can sweetie." She sniffled. "Look at me the wedding hasn't even started and I'm already bawling."</p><p>"Knock knock."</p><p>"Hey, Grandpa Don."</p><p>"Hey Cap." He was the closest thing she'd ever had to her father and had been the one to introduce her to her husband to be, so when she had asked him to be the one to give her away he said yes without hesitation.</p><p>"You ready?" He couldn't remember a time he had ever been as proud as he was of his two best detectives. Their dedication to the job and their love and devotion to each other was stronger than ever.</p><p>"I am." She looped her arm with his as the Stabler girls, who were her bridesmaids, started the walk down the aisle and made room for their future stepmother.</p><p>X</p><p>"Stabler calm down. It's not like you haven't been married before, you're gonna sweat and ruin that suit." He rolled his eyes at the comment from his best friend from his marine days who had flown in to be the best man.</p><p>"Yeah but this. This is Liv and I just want everything to be perfect."</p><p>"It will be. You're both marrying your best friend, your partner, the person you love unconditionally. Trust me I've been married 4 times but this one, you guys have the relationship that will last forever."</p><p>"Wow. Thanks, Munch."</p><p>"I can be wise when I want to be." Elliot rolled his eyes but before he could respond someone tapped him on the shoulder.</p><p>"Stabler, It's time." As the music filled the church and he turned to the sight before him, his heart skipped a few beats. She was so beautiful he felt a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes. Color Of My Love was the song they'd chosen for when she walked down the aisle and it was so perfect. So them.</p><p>Her dress was an elegant pearl white with a sweetheart neckline that flowed at her feet. Her hair was curled and held in a flower clip that was her something borrowed. It had belonged to Althea Tibbs and Virgil had sent it to her, saying he wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding but to think of it as a thank you present for trying to save his wife all those years ago. Despite his loss, he knew it hadn't been Olivia and Elliot's fault and wanted to wish them all the best. Her something old was a necklace that had been her mother's, her something new and something blue was a matching lace underwear/bra set their ADA had given her because it "matched the shade of Elliot's eyes'. She had rolled her eyes but gone with it anyway and wore it under her dress. She had decided not to go with makeup but she didn't need it anyway. She was the most beautiful woman in the world to him and the guys were right, today would be perfect. It already was.</p><p>The preacher cleared his throat. "Who gives this woman to this man?"</p><p>"I do." Their Captain stated proudly and the partners' smiles grew as they took each other's hands and brown eyes mixed with blue. Elliot leaned in to kiss a couple stray tears away and heard "Awws" from the guests.</p><p>"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today in the presence of family and friends to join two of our cities finest, Detective Elliot Stabler and Detective Olivia Benson in matrimony commended to be honorable among all and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. In their partnership, they have seen their love and understanding of each other grow and blossom and now they have come to be joined as one. If any person objects to this sacred union let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The whole church seems to sigh in relief when no one speaks up. "Now the partners will share the vows they've prepared for each other." Elliot clears the tears clogged in his throat.</p><p>"2 years ago our Captain told me I was a getting a new partner and my first thought was 'oh great I'm gonna have to train some incompetent new rookie who's barely old enough to drive' he told me this one was different, that I'd probably piss her off but she'd be able to handle my crap like no one else could. " Everyone in the room laughed including Cragen who remembered the day fondly and smirked. "The next day I walked into his office and he said you were on your way and I honestly don't even remember what I was expecting but baby the minute you walked in that door I knew my heart was gone and I never wanted it back. I had never seen anything, anyone more beautiful in my life. I wanted to tell Don there was no way you could work here, you were too gorgeous and there was no way you could be my partner because I had to be dreaming. I made a vow that day, one that I will keep for the rest of my life that I would protect you with my life every single day, but it didn't take long for me to realize I didn't really need to make that promise because you could clearly kick ass when you needed to for the victims and for me and our squad and just, Olivia Benson I started falling in love with you the minute you shook my hand and told me you were my new partner. I'm still falling and I know I won't ever stop but I don't have to worry because I know you'll be there to catch me and baby I don't care how bad-ass you are I will guard you with everything in me until my last breath. I will always be here to catch you and hold you. I know I can be an over-protective hotheaded asshole, I'm far from perfect and I have no idea what I did to deserve someone as amazing as you but Livia you are so special to me there aren't enough words to describe how much you mean to me. I can't undo the pain you've suffered in the past, but I'm gonna try my best to give you the future you deserve. I never want you to spend a single moment in doubt of how much I love you. You're my best friend, you're my partner for better or worse in every sense of the word, at work and in life and today, when I get done rambling we will officially be partners for life. You're the other half of my soul, actually, you're my better half. There's no place I'd rather be than right here by your side. We fit in sync in everything we do. You complete me Olivia Benson and that's why today I take you to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I give you my sacred vow to love you unconditionally and cherish you with all that I am. I will trust you, respect you and protect you. Laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love now and forever as long as we both shall live." Olivia was pretty sure her heart had melted and didn't know if she could get through her vows without sobbing.</p><p>"Elliot" Her voice cracked and she swallowed and sniffled before continuing. "I'm a little pissed at you right now for making me cry before I have the chance to get through what I have to say to you but like you said we're partners and everything we do is in sync which means that you'll be crying after this too." Everyone laughed and Elliot wiped her tears with his thumb. "El-" She cleared her throat and laughed as she tried to pull herself together. "There you go again taking my breath and my ability to form coherent sentences. But you know me so well Elliot Stabler, you can read me and know me better than I know myself so you probably already know what I'm gonna say. You've been my rock from day one. You know me inside and out from silly quirks to my deepest darkest secrets and you've never faltered, you never let go, you've loved me more than anyone ever has. You've stood by my side no matter what it cost you. You take care of me, you keep me safe. You're right, you can be an overprotective hothead but you're my overprotective hothead and I wouldn't change you for the world. you're not the only one who started falling in love that first day and you have a habit of making me love you more and more each day and I know that will never change. The words to describe how much you mean to me haven't been invented yet El. You're giving me too much credit, I'm far from perfect. You've already given me more than I deserve and no we can't change the past but with you, I feel like I can get through anything and I'm not afraid Elliot, you make me strong. You're my home and there's nowhere I feel safer than by your side, in your arms and there's nowhere I'd rather be. I never want you to spend a moment in doubt of how much I love you either. You're the better half of my soul, my partner in every sense of the word for better or worse, you've had the key to my heart since day one and I never want it back. You complete me Elliot Stabler and that's why today I take you to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I give you my sacred vow to love you unconditionally and cherish you with all that I am. I will trust you, respect you and protect you. Laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love now and forever as long as we both shall live." There wasn't a single dry eye in the room and Elliot who was just as choked up as Olivia had been turned to the priest.</p><p>"Can I kiss her yet?" He chuckled and turned to Elliot's son Dickie who was the ring bearer.</p><p>"May I have the rings please?" Elliot took Olivia's hand and delicately slipped the ring on her finger. His tenderness causing more tears to flow from her eyes.</p><p>"Olivia I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you." He lifted their hands and placed a soft kiss on the knuckle of her ring finger. Olivia took the ring with as much gentleness as Elliot had given her.</p><p>"Elliot I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."</p><p>"Then by the power invested of me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Elliot, you may kiss your bride."</p><p>He cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply and with so much love and passion she might have fallen if it weren't for his strong arm wrapped around her waist. They were both smiling into the kiss and had forgotten there was anyone else in the room. It was a kiss sealed in promises of love, devotion, protection, and sacrifice and it was enough to wash away any scars and secrets. The kiss went on for so long that the preacher had gotten hoarse from clearing his throat and John Munch had fallen asleep in his chair. They exchanged a few more pecks before pulling apart completely but kept their arms wrapped around each other.</p><p>"Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Elliot and Olivia Stabler!" The crowd erupted in cheers and Olivia squealed in delight as Elliot scooped her up in his arms and kissed her one more time before carrying her to the limo that would take them to the reception.</p><p>X</p><p>The reception hall was simple but beautiful and the night was filled with laughter and tears as friends and family stood up to toast the newly married partners who sat snuggled up next to each other. Elliot's kids talked about how Olivia already felt like a part of their family and they were excited it was official now, the squad talked about how they knew this was coming and some had even bet on it and wished them a lifetime of happiness. Now the bride and the groom would say a few words of thanks as well as for each other. Olivia stood up and wiped her eyes which seemed to be flowing nonstop with happy tears all day. She was Mrs. Stabler now and it was the best feeling in the world. Elliot wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her hand away from her face so he could pepper her face with sweet kisses and brush her tears away.</p><p>"Ok, I bet $100 Stabler #5 will be in the making in about 2 hours."</p><p>"Shut up John." They rolled their eyes and said in unison.</p><p>"I can't seem to talk much without crying today but I'll start by saying thank you to all of you for coming and making this the happiest day of my life."</p><p>"Our life baby." Elliot looked at her with a loving gaze and smile that she returned.</p><p>"Our life." She kissed their intertwined hands.</p><p>"And I agree with my beautiful, amazing wife. We are so thankful for and love all of you very much. Especially my kids."</p><p>"Our kids." Olivia lovingly corrected him the way he had her earlier and it was a beautiful reminder that they were now one. A family.</p><p>"Our kids. I love this woman more than I can explain and I thank god for her every day."</p><p>"Awww" The crowd cooed and the couple shared a quick kiss before going to the cake table. As tradition, they each fed each other a slice. The guests laughed when, as very 'Benson and Stabler like', they both got a devilish glint in their eye, smirked and got some icing on each other's faces 'accidentally'. Then the cake was served to everyone else. A little while later it was time for their first dance as husband and wife and Elliot held Olivia with so much delicacy and love she thought she would melt again as they swayed to the music and he sang softly to her.</p><p>She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, letting him serenade her, letting him love her.</p><p>Cause I'll stand beside you through the years</p><p>You'll only cry those happy tears</p><p>And though I make mistakes</p><p>I'll never break your heart</p><p>And I swear like a shadow that's by your side</p><p>I'll be there</p><p>For better or worse, till death do us part</p><p>"El-"</p><p>"Shh" She giggled knowing he probably thought she was worrying about something and he soothed her like always.</p><p>"I was gonna say I love you, Mr. Stabler."</p><p>"I love you too Mrs. Stabler, with every beat of my heart, I swear." She knew he meant every word and she felt the exact same way. At the end of the song, he twirled her around a few times before dipping her and pulling her into a kiss.</p><p>It was perfect. Everything was perfect.</p><p>X</p><p>She laughed as he scooped her up bridal style and carried her to the limo that would take them to the hotel. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply as he spun them around before getting into the limo.</p><p>She was Mrs. Olivia Stabler and it felt like the whole day had been a dream. Part of her wondered if it was real or if she'd wake up and it would be 1988 and she'd be Audine Higgs. But that part of her was fading. Elliot Stabler was alive, they had survived and he had married her. She would never again be Audine Higgs and she was so much more than Olivia Benson. She was Olivia Stabler and she'd never get tired of her new last name and what it symbolized.</p><p>"What are you thinking Mrs. Stabler?" Elliot's voice in her ear sent warm shivers down her spine and she giggled.</p><p>"I'm thinking that if this is a dream I don't ever want to wake up." He chuckled and nibbled on her earlobe knowing it drove her crazy.</p><p>"This is a dream come true honey. This is the rest of our lives." She snuggled into him.</p><p>"Mmm love you."</p><p>"I love you more." Before he could kiss her again the driver honked the horn to get their attention, alerting them that they had arrived.</p><p>"You lovebirds enjoy your stay."</p><p>Elliot picked her up again to carry her to their room and the minute he set her down her lips were attached to his neck. He chuckled and kissed her deeply before pulling away to bring in their suitcases. She pouted when he pulled away and he chuckled again as he pulled her into his arms.</p><p>"Baby relax. We've got all the time in the world."</p><p>"I know I just...we haven't in a while and I know I've hesitated after what happened with Lester and you recovering and everything but I just want our wedding night to be special."</p><p>"Oh, honey every day with you is special no matter what but if you're sure your ready."</p><p>"I am. If you haven't noticed I can't seem to stop kissing you today."</p><p>"I had no idea." He teased. "Oh, baby let me just look at you for a second. Have I mentioned how beautiful you are?"</p><p>"You keep saying that as much as you do and I might start to believe it.</p><p>"Well, you should because you are. And that dress. You make a sexy bride Olivia Stabler. My bride."</p><p>"Say that again." She snuggles into his embrace as they sway from side to side like they'd done when dancing earlier.</p><p>"Olivia Stabler. My bride. My wife. My love. My heart. My world. My life." He punctuates each phrase with a kiss to either her eyelids, forehead, nose, cheeks or chin purposely teasing her by missing her lips.</p><p>"That was poetic." She teases but smiled at his cheesy but loving and affectionate words.</p><p>"I can be very poetic in my romantic gestures when given the chance." She laughs</p><p>"Just shut up and kiss your wife, Detective Stabler."</p><p>"Gladly Detective Stabler." He kisses her, long, slow and deep and she returns it with equal passion. Their tongues danced together in gentle strokes as her hands ran along the muscles in his arms that had held her and protected her so many times and across the shoulders that were always there for her to cry on. He chuckled against her mouth as she struggled to remove his tie without breaking the kiss.</p><p>"Need some help?" He teases as he peppered her jawline with sweet kisses</p><p>"You're enjoying this aren't you?"</p><p>"Maybe a little." He kisses her nose and pulls away to untie his own tie and throw it across the room before lifting her up into his arms and nibbling her earlobe again. He sucked the spot behind her ear softly and then moved to the other side to do the same before kissing down her neck in a way that felt achingly slow to Olivia as she undid the buttons of his dress shirt and Elliot chuckled when she groaned in a mix of pleasure and frustration.</p><p>"Patience Livvy." Her dress was unzipped and fell to the ground as Elliot placed light kisses to her shoulders and ran his hands up her back.</p><p>"Lace and silk? You trying to kill me Liv?" She peppers his chest with kisses.</p><p>"You're not allowed to die on me, Elliot Stabler."</p><p>"Never baby. Never." She kisses the scars left from the bullet wounds, reminders that he almost did but they had survived. "Livia look at me. I'm here honey, always." He gave her a deep, soulful kiss of reassurance as he unclasped her bra and laid her gently on the bed. He looked her over and the love in his eyes was overwhelming.</p><p>"So beautiful." She hated both her mother and Lester for the fact that she still felt insecure about her body and part of her probably always would. It broke Elliot's heart anytime she tried to shield a scar or something from him.</p><p>"You never have to hide from me, Livia. I love you, all of you so much. Even the parts you'd rather forget." His words brought tears to her eyes and her heart swelled with love and affection for him.</p><p>"I love you too, so much baby. Make love to me El."</p><p>It was the little things, how he gently caressed the curves of her body and took his time rather than rushing her and demanding things from her like Lester had done. How he kissed the scars on her chest because they only made her more beautiful in his eyes. How he gave her breasts attention without being too rough because he knew that was a trigger. How he managed to love every inch of her no matter how long it took because he wanted her to feel all the love she hadn't had over the years in every aspect of their lives including their times of intimacy. He was the most selfless person she'd ever met, always making sure her needs, whether physical, mental/emotional or intimate desires, were cared for before his own. How he moved back up to look at her eyes before their remaining clothes were discarded to make sure she was still ok. How he made sure she was ready for him so he wouldn't hurt her. How she realized how safe she felt under him as he shielded her body with his. How he moved his lips to her neck or the side of her face instead of her lips as he slowly pushed into her so she could tell him if she needed to stop. How they moved and filled each other in perfect sync like they did with everything else when their bodies became one. All of those things reminded her of some of the many reasons she loved her partner, her husband as much as she knew he loved her. They had survived hell together and although there would likely be obstacles in the future they knew their love was strong enough to get them through anything. They made love well into the night, alternating positions and loving each other equally and for the first night since their ordeal, she didn't have nightmares.</p><p>She allowed herself to relax in wedded bliss in the arms of her partner, her rock, her protector, her love, her other half, her husband.</p><p>Her Elliot.</p><p>They shared a few lazy kisses after their last release before snuggling into each other's arms. There were no more secrets between them. They held each other in a cocoon of protection.</p><p>"I love you, Mrs. Stabler."</p><p>"I love you more Mr. Stabler."</p><p>Perfect. Today was the start of forever and it felt perfect.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Done! I finally finished a story! Thank you to all who have read this one :) Not sure about a sequel, but I'll be writing some more of Father of Mine before starting on a sequel for this one. Till next time my loyal readers. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Dun dun dunnnnn. I'm ending it here for now so I can eat lunch and work on homework. Will update when I can.</p><p>Thanks for reading :) Thoughts?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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